“Calmed down?”
He smiles, trying to look … I don’t know. Charming? It might have worked on me early on, but not anymore.
“I’ve been calm, Eli. You were the one who wasn’t. So, you tell me.” I sit back and fold my arms across my chest.
“That’s not cute, Brooke. You know what I mean.” He shakeshis head and shifts his gaze away, like he just can’t stand to look at me.
“I’m not sure that I do know, but I also don’t really care anymore. Can I ask you something?” I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. “Do you even like me? Want to be with me?”
“What kind of question is that? Don’t be stupid. Of course I like you. I’m with you, aren’t I? I’m here to see you before you go.”
I huff a laugh. “Okay, so you call me stupid and, in the next sentence, tell me you like me? Maybe I am stupid because that doesn’t make sense.” I feel my skin flush from my neck to my face.
“You don’t cause drama,” he says. “You’re chill. You understand my schedule. You don’t get mad about little things … until now.”
“These aren’t little things,” I say quietly.
He waves that off. “You know what I mean. You don’t need a lot. You’re low maintenance.”
My stomach sinks.
“And you always know how to read the room,” he adds, like he’s helping his case. “You don’t embarrass me—well, except for this recent episode.”
“So, you like that I don’t take up space,” I say.
“That’s not what I said.”
“It is,” I reply. “You like that I make your life easier. That I don’t ask for much. That I smile and let things go.”
He shifts, uncomfortable now. “I like having you, Brooke. I like knowing you’re there.”
There it is.
Five … four … three … two … one.
Five things I can see. Two buttons on Eli’s shirt are unbuttoned. Two bags are sitting in the hallway. One person I see in my mind when I close my eyes and it’s not the man in front of me.
I look behind him.
Four things I can feel. The soft cotton of my leggings. The rough carpet under my feet. The coarse fabric of the couch. My skin, warm and soft.
Three things I hear. Eli calling me stupid. The whirling sound of the refrigerator. People talking in the hallway.
Two things I smell. The strong scent of Eli’s cologne. The unlit candle sitting on the coffee table.
One thing I taste. I can still taste the sweet, minty taste of Silas’s kiss. Even days later.
Breathe.
“Brooke, what is all this about? You know I don’t think you’re stupid. These questions you’re asking are stupid though. Where is this coming from?” He smacks his hands on the couch on either side of his body.
I exhale.
Then I nod slowly. “You don’t actually likeme. You like having me around.”
He doesn’t answer.
And somehow, the silence says everything.
