But another part, a bigger part if I was being honest, understood.
Still didn't make it okay. Still made my stomach twist knowing he'd probably seen those late-night searches. The articles about falling in love. The symptoms I'd been Googling like some lovesick teenager.
This was my life now. Video calls with the man I was supposed to marry. Secret dates with the man I actually loved. Violence and tenderness existing side by side. Monitored phones and encrypted backups.
Romance novels never mentioned this part. The complicated reality of loving someone in a world built on violence and control. The way your heart could break and heal in the same moment. The way you could be furious and understanding simultaneously.
God, he probably knew I loved him before I'd fully admitted it to myself.
Chapter Sixteen
KAI
I felt like I was drowning with the shore just barely out of reach.
One more day. One fucking day before my father returned and this fragile thing with Aria had to go into hiding. One day before we had to become actors playing roles that were slowly killing us both.
The clock was ticking. Loud. Relentless. Mocking.
I'd spent the morning in my office trying to finalize plans with Father Benedetto. The priest was almost convinced. Almost ready to bring the evidence to the Council. But almost wasn't good enough. Almost didn't save Aria from marrying my father.
I needed more time. Time I didn't have.
The office door slammed open hard enough to rattle the frame. Aria stormed in, her face flushed, eyes blazing with fury.
Beautiful. Even pissed off, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
"Is it true?" Her voice shook with barely controlled rage. "Have you been monitoring my phone? Reading my messages? Listening to my calls?"
Fuck. Lia must have told her about the security protocols.
I stood slowly, keeping my expression neutral even though my mind was racing. "Of course I have. It's my job to watch you. To keep you safe."
"Safe?" She moved closer, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "You've been reading my private conversations with Lia. With Mrs. Rossi. That's not keeping me safe, Kai. That's controlling me. That's treating me like I'm some prisoner who can't be trusted."
"You are a prisoner here. We both are. And yes, I monitor your communications because I need to know if anyone suspects us. If you're in danger. If someone is planning something that could get you hurt." I came around the desk. "This isn't about control. It's about protection."
Her laugh was harsh. Bitter. "You sound just like your father. He probably tells himself the same thing. That monitoring everyone, controlling everything, it's all for protection. For the good of the family."
The comparison hit like a physical blow. Made something ugly twist in my gut.
"I am nothing like my father." The words came out harder than I intended. Angrier. "Everything I do is to protect you. To save us both. If you can't see the difference between me gathering intelligence to keep you safe and him using control to own you, then you're fucking blind."
"Am I?" She stepped even closer, chin tilted up defiantly. "Because from where I'm standing, you're both trying to own me. He just does it with a wedding ring while you do it with surveillance and excuses."
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"Is it? You monitor my phone without telling me. You follow me. You decide when I can leave, where I can go, who I can talk to. How is that different from what he'll do?"
"Because I love you!" The words exploded out of me. "Because every fucking thing I do is about keeping you alive and safe. Not about owning you or controlling you. About protecting the one person in this world who actuallymatters to me."
"Then maybe you should try trusting me instead of spying on me!"
"I do trust you! I don't trust everyone else. I don't trust Luca not to manipulate you. I don't trust my father not to plant someone close to you to gather information. I don't trust this world not to use you against me." My hands clenched into fists. "The monitoring isn't about you. It's about everyone else."
"That's a convenient excuse."
Her words stung. Made the anger in my chest flare hotter.
