I couldn't. Because it would be a lie.
"I think about it." The admission came out barely above a whisper. "I think about it constantly. But that doesn't change anything. We still can't—"
"Can't or won't?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes." He leaned closer, his face inches from mine. "Because can't means there's no choice. Won't means you're choosing to walk away from this. From us."
"There is no us. There can't be."
"Why not?"
"Because you're supposed to be a one night stand!" The words exploded out of me. "Because this is sick and wrong and if anyone finds out, we're both dead. Because I can't—I won't—risk it just because I want something I can't have."
Kai studied me for a long moment. Then he stood, pulling me up with him.
"What are you—"
He backed me against the bookshelf, his body caging mine. Not touching, but close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off him. Close enough that my heart started racing for entirely different reasons.
"You think I haven't considered the risks? You think I don't know exactly what my father would do if he found out?" His hand came up, fingers brushing my cheek with a gentleness that made my breath catch. "I know all of it. And I don't give a fuck."
"You should—"
"My mother used to love this library." His voice softened. "She'd spend hours here, reading, trying to escape from my fathereven when she was trapped in the same house. She used to tell me and Lia that books were windows to other worlds. Places where we could be different people. Better people."
The pain in his voice made my chest ache.
"She sounds wonderful."
"She was. Until my father killed her for wanting to leave."
The words hung between us, brutal and honest.
"Kai—"
"I can't prove it. Not yet. But I will. And when I do, when I have enough evidence, I'm taking him down." His eyes burned into mine, dark and intense and full of barely controlled fury. "But until then, I have to watch him destroy people. Have to pretend I'm the obedient son. Have to stand by while he plans to marry you."
His thumb brushed across my lower lip and electricity shot through me. My lips parted involuntarily, my breath coming faster.
"So no, Aria. I'm not letting this go. I'm not pretending that night didn't happen. Because you're the first good thing I've had in years, and I'm not giving you up just because someone else thinks they have a claim on you."
"This is crazy—"
"Probably." His other hand found my waist, fingers pressing into my hip through the thin fabric of my dress. The touch burned like a brand. "But I've been thinking about you for two weeks. Couldn't get you out of my head. Your taste. Your sounds. The way you felt wrapped around me."
Heat flooded through me, my body remembering exactly what he was talking about. The way his hands had felt on my bare skin. The way his mouth had—
"We're in the library. Anyone could walk in—"
"Then tell me to stop." His mouth moved closer to mine. So close I could feel his breath against my lips. "Tell me you don't want this and I'll walk away. But you have to mean it. No more lies. No more pretending."
I should have told him to stop. Should have pushed him away. Should have done literally anything except what I did next.
I closed the distance between us, my mouth finding his.
The second our lips met, fire exploded through my veins. His mouth moved against mine, demanding and possessive, and I opened for him. His tongue swept past my lips, tangling with mine, and the taste of him—whiskey and mint and something uniquely Kai—flooded my senses.
