“Accidents are called accidents because they happen unexpectedly and unintentionally. They are no one’s fault. Rather your parents were going to get your food or coming home, the accident would’ve happened, regardless.”
Even though Mr. Howard says this, it doesn’t help ease my guilt. Anthony tells me I shouldn’t talk to Mr. Howard. He says not to tell him anything, but I have to talk. I have to get this offmy chest. If I don’t, it will boil over and explode just like it did that day in school. It’s why I’m here.
“I don’t know.”
The smile on Mr. Howard’s face grows. He stands from his chair and walks over to the front of his desk where I’m sitting. Leaning his back against the wooden desk, he smiles down at me.
“The police reports say there was an issue with the brakes. No matter where they were going, they would’ve crashed.” He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Now, I don’t want you blaming yourself. You’re too handsome to stress over things you can’t control.”
His hand lingers on my shoulder as he chuckles down at me. An uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea why at the time. If only I’d listened to Anthony.
“Nico, babe. Look at me.”
I come out of my haze. The sound of my wife’s voice bringing me out of my past like a beacon of light in darkness.
I’m in my office, sitting in my chair. Those pale-yellow walls are gone. The stagnant cigarette smoke is no more. I’m no longer that eight-year-old boy trapped in hell.
Tiffany is in front of me with her hands cupping my face. Her gaze watching me closely. I look away from her to find Ghost standing behind her. Even he looks concerned. Roc is at the door; his arms folded over his chest like he’s ready to fight an imaginary enemy.
I place my attention back on Tiffany. For the first time since she saw that video, the look on her face is something other than anger and disappointment. The love and concern I know is buried under her anger is shining back at me. However, knowing why she’s looking at me the way she does makes me feel sick. So sick, I nearly vomited. I knock her hands away from my face and shoot to my feet.
“I’m fine,” I snarl.
She slowly stands up. That sad and concerned look was still there.
“Nico, you just had a panic attack and damn near blacked out. You’re not fine. What happened?”
Placing even more space between us, I walk around her. “You’ve been ignoring me all day, and now you want to talk?”
I was being a dick, but I’d much rather her be angry at me than have her sympathy. I’m not some fucking victim, I don’t need her concern. Tiffany watches me closely, as if she’s not buying what I’m selling. She then turns away from me, looking at my desk. When she spots the letter, she tries to pick it up. I move so quickly, I could be a fucking Olympic sprinter. I snatch the paper out of her hands.
“Don’t touch my shit,” I bark.
Her face falls. I have never yelled at her like this. Hell, I’ve never talked to her the way I am. But she can’t see that letter. She can’t know my past or the hell I endured in that fucking place. My heart is racing so fast my ears are ringing from the sound.
Tiffany lifts her chin. The tears that were only moments ago dancing under her eyes dry up.
“Whatever you say, Saint.” She turns and storms out of my office.
We all watch her go. Ghost turns to me and lifts a brow. I know he has a lot to say, but thankfully he doesn’t speak.
“Find that fucking mail carrier,” I snarl the demand.
Ghost and Roc nod their heads as they walk out of my office. It has been years since I thought of my time at William Bone’s. My brothers and I buried our past in that place the day we walked away from it. But as the saying goes, the past won’t stay buried forever.
chapter Five
Changes
Tiffany
It’s been a week since the incident in Nico’s office. Part of me believes I should drop the matter. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, then I shouldn’t force him. But something in that letter scared the shit out of him.
For as long as I’ve known Nico, he has been an unshakeable, brilliant and solid man. However, that day in his office, I saw genuine fear. Not a fear of dying or bad news, but the fear of someone who has unhealed trauma.
It made me realize I know little about him. I know he is a hotel tycoon. I know he has a sister and that his parents died when he was eight. Yet, I don’t know any actual facts about him. I don’t know where he grew up, I don’t even know anything about him past the age of eight. Hell, I don’t even know what his sister looks like. It dawned on me a few nights ago that I married a man I didn’t know shit about. If Nico and I were going to work this thing out between us, he was going to have to let me in.
The clock on the microwave reads midnight. The house is quiet. Mr. Jim and Mrs. Gloria are fast asleep in their home on the property. Noah has been down for a while. He wakes up only once a night now. He isn’t due back up for a few hours. However, sleep eludes me.
