He goes quiet, staring down at his hands. I don’t interrupt or rush him. This is the most my father and I have ever spoken about my mother.
“It had become a game for her. I’d come home from work, and she wouldn’t speak to me, or would barely even sit in the same room as me. I’d go out of my way to make her happy. Catering to her and bringing her flowers. She would forgive me, we’d make up, and then the cycle would repeat.”
He shakes his head, looking disgusted at himself.
“Then the rumors of her with other men started circulating. I’d chase her all over town, at bars, fighting with random men. Just like with the other stuff, she would fall back in line after I acted out only to repeat the cycle.”
“Daddy, that’s not okay. She was manipulating you.” The more I hear about this, the angrier I get. Seeing the shit my mother put him through just for attention pisses me off.
“I know. Which is why, two days before she left, I was over it all.”
“What happened?”
He runs a hand over his bald head. “I was at work when I got the phone call she was seen getting out of a car near a hotel with another man. It was shaping up to be just like the other times, only this time there was something different. She wasn’t alone; she had you with her. I’ve never in my life even raised my voice at Evelyn, but that day I saw red.
“That day, she had done something that I couldn’t get over. Playing her games was one thing, but bringing my baby into it was another. It wasn’t that she was with another man; I think I had grown immune to that. No, my anger was because she had you out there with her.
“I jumped in my car and drove over to that hotel. I waited until they came back out. She had the usual smile on her face when she spotted me. She was ready for me to act a fool for her like I’d always done, but I didn’t. I snatched you out of her hands and grabbed her by the neck. I swear, baby girl, I could’ve killed her that day.”
He goes silent once more. “I told her right then, I didn’t give a shit what she did, but if she ever took you around some other man, I’d kill her.”
I gasp. I had no idea about any of this. My father is such a gentle, easygoing guy, he never even spanked me as a kid. But I guess even the kindest person has a breaking point.
“Two days later, she left you with a neighbor, wrote that letter, and was gone. It wasn’t until you were about eight that she resurfaced. I always felt guilty about her leaving, like maybe if I hadn’t put my hands on her that day she might’ve stayed around longer. At least might’ve tried to have a relationship with you. Because of my guilt, I kept pushing for you to reach out more to her.”
I shake my head, reaching across the small space separating us to hold his hands. “It’s not your fault. Evelyn is who she is. Even if you’d done everything differently, the outcome would’ve been the same. We couldn’t make her happy. Not if we wanted to be sane. Even now, even with all the money and men she’s had over the years, none of them has made her happy.”
One thing I got from the time I’ve spent with my mother these past two months was that she was lonely. She has lived an extravagant life. She’s had everything she thought she wanted at least once, and none of it has ever fulfilled that emptiness inside her.
I won’t lie to myself and say that had she stayed with us, she would’ve been happy as if we were what she needed. No, I think Evelyn’s problem is internal. The poverty of her childhood did more than just scar her from being poor. There is something else to that story that needs to be fixed. However, I no longer care if she ever figures it out.
“You did a good job raising me, Daddy,” I say not for the first time. But sometimes, people need reminders.
My dad chuckles. “That’s all that matters, baby girl.”
My father and I spent a little while longer on that back patio talking and bonding. We discuss more of my childhood and reminisce over some of the fun things and people that contributed to my growth. It’s way past midnight when I walk into my bedroom.
Nico is lying on top of the covers, one arm behind his back, his head propped up on the headboard, his feet crossed at the ankle and his eyes closed. I climb onto the bed and straddle my husband. Leaning down, I lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me. His scent of warm amber, sweet jasmine, and spicy saffron, greets me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his warm breath brushing against the hair at the top of my head. “I should have told you what she tried to do.”
I lift my head, lying my hands over his chest, I place my chin on top as I stare up into his dark brown eyes.
“You don’t need to apologize. I know you were just trying to spare my feelings.”
I purposely didn’t tell Nico anything today. I wanted to master my emotions before I dumped all this on him. Either Ms. Rose informed him or one of the other household staff filled him in. Hell, knowing Nico, he might have cameras all over the house and watched it all play out this morning.
“I appreciate you wanting to protect me. But in the future, let’s not keep things from each other. Trust that I’m strong enough to handle stuff, and if I’m not, you can be my shoulder.”
He nods, placing a kiss on my forehead.
“I’ll be your shoulder, your neck, your arm, whatever you need.”
I laugh and roll my eyes playfully before sobering up. Taking a deep breath, I know it’s time I admit my wrongdoing.
“I should never have invited her into your home. I was so stupid.”
“Shh, don’t say that. You couldn’t have known she would try something like that.”
