I shrank in on myself like I was five years old and he’d caught me playing with my friends down the block instead of studying Russian.
Was he pissed that I hadn’t reached higher?
“My numbers just keep getting better, I’m hoping that-”
“AndI hopeyou stop embarrassing me.” He slammed his drink down so hard that the wood table rattled.
It wasn’t the only thing rattled. Instinctively, I took a step back. “What d-did I do wrong?”
His bloodshot eyes narrowed, and he stepped close enough that I swore I could smell the aftertaste of whiskey dripping from his tongue. Nausea rolled up my stomach, but before I could react he slapped me across the face.
I stumbled backwards, and his roar echoed across the room, “The men at the banya are still laughing about how Dmitri Novikov embarrassed you on the sparring mat.”
For a moment, I was so stunned that I didn’t see his punch coming. I curled my arms around my ribs when the blow and the meaning behind his words hit me. He’d heard about how Dmitri had played me like a toy on the sparring mat. How he’d made me appear so weak and defenseless.
Another hit came. When I looked at my mother, her eyes were averted.
“But I set a personal record with my ranking,” I said, gasping around the pain in my ribs. I tried to grasp onto anything to make him stop.
“You think that will last long after your performance in front of the Bratva? Everyone says you slept your way to your position. They say that someone so weak would never get there on their own merit.”
He swung again, but his words hurt more than the impact.
I had doneeverythingright. When all I had wanted to do was rest after another microdosing, I dragged my weakened body out of bed and took on extra assignments to boost my rank. I took drugs that weakened my organs, probably leading me to an early death.
And for what?
Nothing was ever enough.
A laugh startled out of me. My father froze in place, his fist in midair. For the first time my mother looked me in the eye, disapproval radiating off her.
But I couldn’t stop laughing.
The absurdity of it all.
No matter how hard I tried in the competition, it would never be enough to escape this. My father would always beat me for real or imagined slights. I’d never be free of this if I followed his rules.
His face purpled as the gulping laughs kept escaping me. I knew this was going to end very,verybadly. But I couldn’t stop myself.
My father’s leg connected with my ribs, but my laughter didn’t even stutter.
It only stopped when darkness encircled my vision, and I was finally allowed to rest.
Chapter eleven
Dmitri
My focus shifted to Alisa the second I entered the room. It didn’t matter that a hundred other faces turned my way as I walked into the Pakhan’s auditorium.
The only face I was curious about was stubbornly facing straight ahead. Even when her friend’s eyes locked onto me, Alisa continued with their conversation without so much as a jerk in my direction.
She wanted to ignore me after I’d saved her?
Good luck with that.
With a smirk, I moved into the row of seats behind her. People rushed out of my way in case I wanted their hard plastic chair.
The only one I wanted gave me a direct view of her profile. I settled into the seat as she continued looking stubbornly ahead.
