Alisa nodded, tears forming in her eyes.
“I had no idea you were even interested in kids. You’ve never mentioned it before.” I paused. “Are you pregnant?”
“No, I’m not.” She sighed. “I first thought about it during that assignment to kill Selene.”
My body stiffened at the reminder. I still had nightmares that something had gone wrong, and I’d lost her. I’d wake up in a cold sweat, and only regain my breath when I realized she was cuddled up beside me, snoring away.
Her hand tightened against my own, and I knew I wasn’t alone in that feeling.
“Even though I was sure I was going to die,” she said. “The idea of having a baby with you crept into my mind. At first, I thought it was just the effects of a near death experience.”
Alisa’s lip trembled, and my chest tightened.
She took a steadying breath, and said, “But now, I can’t stop imagining us raising a child the way our parents never did. Protecting them from anything that could ever hurt them and loving them the way I wish we would’ve been loved.”
Silence descended as I absorbed her words.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she said quietly.
“I never thought about it before,” I admitted. “And honestly I’m surprised you’d even want a child with me. I’d probably screw them up just as much as our parents did.”
Alisa shook her head vehemently. “You’re wrong.”
“How can you be so sure about that?” I laughed darkly. “For fuck’s sake, I killed all of your relatives.”
“How many times have you risked your own life to protect me?” she said. “I know you, you’d jump in front of a bullet to save me.”
I shrugged. There was no denying that. Still, my chest ached at even the hypothetical of something hurting her.
“It’s your decision, Dmitri, andI promisewe’ll be okay if you decide you just want it to be the two of us.” Alisa’s expression turned fierce. “But if you think for even one second you’d be anything like our parents, you areabsolutely wrong. The people you care about are the luckiest people in the world. And if we decided to have a baby, I have no doubt they’d be completely cherished and protected.”
I placed a hand on her flat stomach, just for a moment imagining that world. Our genes melded into a human being and growing inside that perfect belly. A mirror of Alisa’s big innocent eyes staring up at me as I gathered my two favorite girls close on my lap. Coming home to not just Alisa’s smiling face, but another giggling being thatwecreated.
Fuck.
Alisa cocked her head. “If you don’t want to, I promise we’ll have the most fulfilling life-”
“Yes,” I said, pulling her even closer, and feeling the reassuring hum of her heartbeat.
“Are you sure?” she said, chewing on her bottom lip. “You’re not just saying yes to make me happy?”
“Of course, I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of,” I said. “But I just pictured that life you described… and I want that, too.”
My heart thudded as an image of Alisa holding our baby flashed across my mind. “Fuck, I really want it.”
“Really?” Alisa said, tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice gravelly. “I love you, Alisa.”
“I love you, too.”
I held her tight, relishing the feel of her. She snuggled in closer, nuzzling her head against my shoulder. Her arms wrapped around me, and her hand nearly brushed against the small velvet box in my pocket.
I slowly disentangled from her grip, and moved off the couch.
“Where are you going?” she whined.
I couldn’t help a smile. I could never bear to be too far from her, and I knew she felt the exact same way.
