“I came to ask if my father had rethought his position on my finances,” I said.
Ronan reached to open acerused white oakcabinet.The sleeve of his black shirt slid down to reveal Irish script on his shoulder. So many of my father’s men had the same circular tattoo. Another reminder of their unending loyalty to the Regan family. I wondered if Sebastian had a similar tattoo in Italian.Why was I even thinking of that asshole?
“Are you planning on coming back to the Irish Mob?” he asked, while placing a loaf of Barmbrack in the cabinet.
“No.”
He’d asked me that question every single time I’d come to see him. My response hadn’t changed once in the last year, so I don’t know why we went through the motions.
Ronan sighed.“You already know the answer then.”
I stood up from the couch and moved toward the kitchen. Leaning across him, I ripped open a bag of Lays Sour Cream and Onion chips.“I’m his only child. He can’t just leave me to wolves,” I said.
Yet, that was exactly what my father had done, the moment I left the crime family.
“Youabandoned him first. Just come back into thefamily already. I’m sure he’ll reinstate you as second-in-command.”He snatched ahandful of chips out of the bag I was holding.
I rolledmy eyes.“You shouldloan me the money. I’ve known you since I was eight, you know I’ll pay you back one day.”
“It’s because I’ve known you since you were eight, that I know I’d never see that money again.”
I shoved some chips into my mouth and glared at him.
Hiseyes softened.“You know I can’t loan you the money. Your father would kill me. He’s hoping it’ll force you to come back to him.”
I’d already knownRonan wouldreject the proposition before he even spoke. Even though he’d gone on every mission with me since I started. Even though he’dpromised toprotect me. I knew it wassuperficial: he would always choose my father over me. His loyalty to my father was eternal as that tattoo.
“I’m not coming back. He needs to accept that,” I said.
Ronan grew quiet, staring at theminimalistwoodenbar stoolsalong his kitchen island.
“Why did you leave? A year ago you just left. No explanations given.” His tone grew sharper. “What the fuck happened?”
Thewordswere caught in my stomach and twisting my organs in unnatural ways. I turned away from him and tucked away the thoughts into a deeper corner.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not coming back.” My voice grew so quiet I didn’t recognize it.
He shook his head, anger growing in his voiceas all emotions started to drain from me.“It doesn’t make any sense. Since you were eight, you’ve always been the dutiful daughter. Any mission your father ordered you to do, no matter how dangerous, you did it. And I know, because I was with you on all of them. Then one day, you justleft without a word.Noneof it makes any sense.”
I sighed at his choice of words.My life had stopped making sense a long time ago.
Although I wasn’t sure why I even bothered coming to see him. The disappointment turned more bitter every time he refused to choose me. The hope that his choice would change, slowly constricting something soft inside of me.
I turned to walk out the door when my gaze caught on sea salt caramels squares.
My favorite. Mythroat tightened. Even though he’d only taken care of me in the past because my father had ordered him to, I liked to think he cared in his own way. That he’d bought those chocolates because he was hoping to see me. And maybe that was why I kept coming back.
But that still didn’t change the reality, or the fact that I couldn’t tell him the true reason I’d left.“You’ve always known I didn’t want this life. That I wished I could be more like Piper, and just party all day and live off my investments.”
“But you aren’t Piper. You are Conor Regan’s daughter. You can’t just leave.”
Isnorted. He had no idea how aware I was of that.For the last few months, I’d been trying to mimic my high school bestfriend’slife.Piper and I bought matching Dior miniskirts and traded off who bought tables at Tao.But ever since my father had cut me off, I’d substituted trust fund dividends with money shark’s loans. And that’s what got me into this very situation.
Still he was wrong about one point.
“Ididleave.”
“And look how it’s going. First you tried to get into medical school, and then your dad bribed the examiner into failing you. Then, you gave up on that, and tried to pretend like you weren’t financially cut off. Now you’re in way more debtthanyou should be.”
