He wasn’t lying, he justreallydidn’t care what he revealed to me.I seriously did not understand him.
Fine, I could use that against him.Shaking my head, I sat down on the settee parallel to him. But I kept my feet settled firmly on the ground, ready to kick him in the face with these obnoxious heels if needed.
“You looked awfully pissed when I was talking to Jared,” I teased.
He sipped on his whiskey before speaking, “Initially, I was worried you’d tell him about our shared industry. But I had no reason to worry. If you say anything to him I’m sure Piper wouldloveto hear about all of your escapades.”
“If you say anything Piper, I swear I’ll make you regret it.”
“I guess that means you’ll have tobehave,” his voice deepened on the last work, and I felt a shiver run up my spine that had nothing to do with the sweat trickling down my back. Instead of indulging that sensation, I glared at him. He just chuckled.
“Why did you come here tonight?” he asked while leaning further into the chair.“It doesn’t seem like it’s your scene anymore.”
“Why do you care? I’m not taking your offer, so you can stop wasting your time trying to convince me.”
“Tonight’s my night off.”
Iexaminedhim, trying to find the lie in the statement. And when I couldn’t find one,I snorted,“Good luck with that.”
He took a slow sip of his drink and seemed to ponder his words fora moment.“How do you manage it? Going back and forth between this world and our world so easily?”
There was a glimmer of emotion in his eyes. I wasn’t used to people easily displaying emotion. It was safer to remain hard. To let no one in.
“You just get used to it,” Isaid, unable to believe we were actually having this conversation.
Sebastian smiled, but there was a sadness tinged to it that I’d never seen before.
“You miss it,” I said, unsure why I was continuing to indulge this conversation. As soon as I’d found out that he had nothing planned for Piper, I should’ve marched back into the living room and knocked back shots with Piper. Yet for some reason, I relaxed back into my seat, and kicked my feet up.
His eyes moved back to me, languid and relaxed.“Miss what?”
I gestured behindus, atthe doorleadingback to our high school friends. “That life. Everyone in there probably doesn’t even know the difference between a Glock and aBeretta. And they certainly will never have to use one. Do you miss being so ignorant?”
Sebastiantook a sip of his drink and stared at me. I shouldn’t be admitting my favorite cocktail let alone revealing something so personal.But thedesire wasbubbling up inside of me like the numbness had earlier. Maybe it had been the vulnerability. I had seen a part of him I’d never seen before. And it made me want to see more.
But also, I’d never been able to talk with someone straddling the two worlds. Even though I shouldn’t, the desire to share my thoughts with him was dancing to the surface.
“I was never ignorant to this world. I was just able to ignore it,” hesaid.
“I wish I could’ve ignored it,” I said with a laugh, but it was more bitter than I’d intended.
“Is that why you won’t take the offer?” he asked.“Do you hate that life that much?”
“I just want to live my own life.”
I stared out at the skyline. The wind whipped across my bare shouldersas I wondered what myexistencecould have been like if my father hadn’t forced meto join the mob.
Chapter 11
I blinked awake, and tensed when I noticed the sunlight peeking over the skyscrapers above us. Sensing movement, my eyes swung right and met Sebastian’s steely grey ones.
He was watching me passively, leaning back against the seat with one large hand propped underneath his head, and the other hand absentlyscrolling through his phone.
“Sleep well?”he asked. There was a softness in his eyes, but I knew eyes could lie.
I shifted my gaze down: my clothes were still in place. No blood was dripping onto my uncomfortable shoes.The tension released from my shoulders. Even though it definitely shouldn’t.
What the hell had I been thinking?Falling asleepin his presence might have been the stupidest thing I’d done lately, and I’d done a lot of stupid shit.
