“Because I don’t want mates.”
“You’ve got them. Whether or not you want us, whether or not you choose to walk away, it doesn’t change the fact weareyour mates.”
The words threw off her treading water, and she sank just a bit.
No.She denied it with everything she had, shaking her head as she went toward the ladder to the left of where Trent sat. That couldn’t be right.
They had some sort of…affection between them? There was something, but she chalked it up to great sex and close contact.
That wasn’t mates.
“You’re wrong,” she bit out as she grasped the ladder to climb out. “I’m not the sort of girl to go bonding with alphas, and even if I were, I told you from the start this was just temporary.”
“What you tell yourself and the truth aren’t always the same thing. You might not have a lot of experience with mates, but I promise you, that’s exactly what we are. Do you really think I can’t see the way you look at us? The way you edge toward us in any room? The way you lean against us and touch us as if you can’t help it?”
She snatched her towel from the back of a lounge chair, patting herself dry with rough, fast motions. “That’s just stupid hormones. That’s playing a part.”
“It might have started as a make-believe, but it hasn’t been that for a long time. Are you really willing to throw it away? For nothing?”
“I’m not throwing anything away. I’m being clear that I don’t have room forthisin my life, even if it were real.”
“Why not? Are you that happy living alone, with no friends?”
“Yes, I am!” Even she felt the lie as it escaped her throat.
She thought back to the pool party, to the way she’d wanted so badly to be like the rest of them, to bepartof the world instead of just some protector of it. No matter how dangerous that might have been, she’d craved it with everything inside her.
“If you were, you wouldn’t wrap those arms around me quite so tight when you get into my bed, pet. I wouldn’t feel those nails in my skin while you sleep, like you’re terrified of me leaving. You know? I got up one night to get a glass of water, and when I came back, when I looked down at you while you were sleeping, your eyebrows were drawn together. You reached across the bed, searching, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you quite so upset as when you found nothing.”
“You really think I should base my future on what I did while I was asleep?” She tried to keep her voice as incredulous as possible, to make it sound as absurd as it really was.
“Why not? At least when you’re asleep, you stop sabotaging yourself, you stop giving up things you want just because you think you shouldn’t want it.”
“Can’twant it. There’s a difference.”
“And why can’t you? What is so different about you that makes it so you’re the only person in this whole world who can’t take that risk? In case you didn’t realize it, it’s a risk to everyone who gets involved with anyone. You could walk out and break our fuckinghearts, and yet here we are, trying to convince you to stay.”
Break our hearts.Alison ignored the statement, the one that meant far more than it should have.
“Because I’veseenwhat happens, because I was fucked up from the start. I didn’t grow up seeing this shit work out, seeing happy families with loving parents. I grew up with a father who saw my mother and me as property, and I know what it did to us. What the hell do I have to offer to mates?” She pulled the towel tighter around her, a horrible empty feeling inside her taking hold as she said the truth. Each word seemed to take another piece from her, like they all hollowed her out. “Some people are ruined, Trent, and you can’t fix that. I’ve seen omegas who hit that point, who just breathe until they die. They can’t get past things—they can’t move on. They’ve been turned into whatever they are, and there’s no coming back. That’s me. Others, they had something to build on. Even Kara, for all she suffered, for all her crazy faults, she had a connection with her brother. I didn’t have anything. Until you three, I didn’t have a single thing in my life to keep me here. I could have fallen asleep and never woken up and no one would have known, and that was exactly the way I wanted it. You can’t change that—no one can.”
He tilted his head, gaze steady, standing against all her bluster and anger and hurt. “If you think you don’t have any connections, you’re not paying attention. Those omegas you helped, and in turn their alphas, they’re all family, even if you don’t want it. Family isn’t always something you choose, but it’s something that happens and that doesn’t let go even when you want itto. You aren’t nearly as broken or alone as you think you are.”
She wanted to cry. Why? She wasn’t sure. The words sounded so good, like she wasn’t the pitiful thing she’d always assumed, but she knew better. When she watched the omegas talk amongst themselves, when she watched them smile and at ease, it was obvious.
She wasn’tpart of that, and no amount of pretending otherwise would change it.
Heavy steps stopped their argument, a voice speaking only one side of a conversation.
Daniel rushed in, phone to his ear. “Yes, I understand. Here she is.”
He held the phone out to Alison.
She took it, pressed it to her ear and answered.
A male’s voice responded, and it took her a moment to identify it. Marshall, Tiffany’s mate. “I need you to come to the hospital, Alison.”
Her knees weakened, as she let herself drop to the chair.
