“Yeah, sorry about that.” Trent left the bathroom light on and sat on his bed, his back to her. “I needed a bit of space. Figured you’d be fine with Daniel and Kyle.”
“Iamfine,” she assured him.
He leaned forward, his elbows going to his knees and a violent shudder running through him. “You’re tougher than I am. Already knew that, but here’s the proof.”
Alison came over to stand before him. He didn’t look at her, didn’t move, just stayed in that position, looking as though a weight on his shoulders had crushed him.
She wasn’t sure how to help, but slid to her knees before him. It let him lift his gaze just a hair to find hers.
“What can I do?”
His lip curled into a sad smile, one that held no humor. “I didn’t care for talking about you like that, for playing that part.”
Alison slid her fingers around his calves “It wasn’t you—I know that. We all had a part to play.”
“I guess I didn’t realize just how much I’d hate to play it. I don’t think it would have bothered me so much if I didn’t know damn well there were people out there who really think that, people who believed that.Felt like I let one of them crawl inside me, like I’ve got this slime clinging to my insides now.”
She slid forward and rested her cheek against his knee, nuzzling softly. “You’re not like that.”
He lifted one hand and ran it through her hair, the touch so much gentler than it had been when he’d held it earlier, as though trying to make up for that with sweetness now. “Do you know why I left the FBI? It was a final-straw moment for me. There was this young girl, an omega, who everyone knew was being trafficked. She was taken as a mate to an informant, an important one. I talked to everyone who would listen about helping her, about getting her out of there, but I got nothing but brick walls. No one cared because the informant was helping on big cases. I was ready to step in, ready to give it all up to get her out of there.”
A sinking sensation in Alison’s stomach preceded her asking, “What happened?”
“We found her body tossed in front of a hospital like trash. I handed in my badge that day. She was dead because my bosses decided the case was more important than the people and I couldn’t do it anymore. Danial and Kyle, they didn’t get it. They saw the big picture, saw the folks we were helping, but me? I saw her. Today, when I had to say that shit, I saw her again. I remembered doing shit because I thought it was right even though it felt fucking wrong.”
Alison wished she had some perfect thing to say. She wanted to be able to tell him it was okay, that it would all work out. Instead, she nuzzled against where he ran his fingers through her hair.
He offered her a strained smile. “You don’t need to stay, pet. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. I’m sure tonight wasn’t easy on you either, and I know fora fact Kyle and Daniel would be more than happy to dote on you all you could want.”
Alison heard the out he was giving her, but she didn’t have to even consider it. No matter how uncomfortable this was, no matter how out of her element she might be, she wasn’t going to leave him.
Hearing the pain in his voice, that loneliness, that struggle to do what was right, it all felt like a glimpse into him, one deeper than anything she’d had before. He wasn’t just an alpha right then. He wasn’t the jerk who gave her lists of expectations and made her kneel for him. Instead, he was a man with a scarred past, one who so desperately wanted to be a good man no matter how much he felt like he was failing.
So rather than walk out, she straightened up and did the thing she’d sworn she wouldn’t, the thing that was so dangerous she wasn’t sure how she could be stupid enough to do it.
She brushed her lips to his and kissed him.
The warmth of Alison’s kiss thawed the places inside Trent that were frozen from the meeting, the areas where the jagged edges of ice pierced him.
He didn’t move, didn’t return the kiss, unwilling to participate but unable to stop her, either.
She slid her hands up his chest until she cupped his cheeks. Those full lips he’d imagined far too many times felt better than he could ever have thought. His fantasies had done them no justice, and when her soft, hot tongue brushed his lips, he groaned.
“You said no kissing,” he whispered to remind her. “I don’t want you doing anything out of pity.”
She pulled back far enough to see him but kept her hands on his cheeks. “It’s not pity. I’m…” She sighed softly, as though searching for the right words. “I need this. I need you tonight, and I think you need this, too.”
Fuck it all, I do.
Right then, the only thing he could think of that might help him get through the night was Alison. It was her scent, her strength, the warmth she had that he needed so badly. He had to reassure himself that he wasn’t the person he’d had to pretend to be, that she was safe and not afraid of him.
He grasped her by her nape and pulled her closer. She responded by crawling into his lap, her seeking hands grasping him.
He rolled them so she was in the bed beside him, both on their sides, as he took sweet kiss after sweet kiss. They weren’t rushed, weren’t frantic. She traced her hand over his side, slipping beneath the fabric of his shirt, feeling his overheated skin.
The kisses tapered off, slowing, until Trent ran his fingers through her hair, staring at her. He’d never felt this way before, and it created a ball of anxiety in his stomach that made a mockery of what he’d felt before.
How many women had he helped get back on their feet? How many had he trained? Built up? And how many had he lost?
