“I know you are.”
Noah turns his head to the side, away from me. The gym is fairly empty. Rita’s got her massive headphones on, probably listening to one of her smutty audiobooks, and Jerry is over in the corner nodding along to the heavy metal he’s constantly destroying his eardrums with.
Essentially, this is a private conversation. So, when Noah turns his attention back to me, part of me knows that he’s about to address the blonde-haired, green-eyed elephant in the station.
“I have to tell you something.”
I nod my chin at him. “Go on.”
“I slept with Lila.”
I wait for it, that roaring wave of jealousy. The annoyance, the frustration, the possessiveness.
It doesn’t come. I frown in confusion, which makes Noah furrow his brow in turn.
“You gonna say something?” he presses.
“Don’t really know what to say. It’s none of my business, is it?”
“It’s against the rules, though. We did it in her room up on the mezzanine.”
I give him a deadpan look. “Interesting.”
“I’m full of stupid fucking mistakes. Seems like the only thing I’m capable of contributing to society.”
“Self-pity looks ugly on you,” I grumble. “Get over yourself. Just get over it, man. And for the record, you’re not the only one making mistakes where Lila is concerned.”
Noah raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”
“I ate her out in my office.”
The eyebrows shoot higher. “When?”
“About five minutes after our group meeting ended earlier this week.”
I brace myself, waiting forhisjealousy, but Noah’s mouth curves slowly into an amused smirk before he drops his head back down onto the mat and says to the ceiling, “She already told me.”
“What?”
“Right before we, uh, really got busy with it, she told me what happened in your office.”
“Is that why you slept with her? To stake a bigger claim?” It’s an embarrassingly immature accusation, but it spills out of me before I can reclaim my decorum.
Noah merely snorts. “Nah, Cap. I slept with her because I like her. A lot.”
“I like her, too.” I sigh. “So does Evan.”
He nods. “She’s just so… warm. Like, there’s just this warmth to her, you know? Sounds stupid as fuck, but being around her is like sitting in the sun on a perfect spring day.”
“Poetic.”
“And she’s one of the few people that I don’t feel like I have to perform for,” Noah goes on. “I like being goofy around her, and I love trying to make her laugh, but there’s no pressure attachedto it. No expectation. Somehow, I know that her appreciation for me isn’t contingent on how many smiles I can toss her way.”
“I get it.” I pause to check that the conversation is still relatively private, then continue. “She’s a rare sort of woman. She doesn’t take my coldness personally. If anything, she seems to find some kind of weird comfort in how much of an asshole I can be.”
“You’re not an asshole, Cap. You just care a lot about doing things right. I’m sure that’s what she sees.”
I shrug. “Yeah, well… just treat her right, will you?”
