I’m so flummoxed by the events of the past twenty minutes that obeying a simple command seems like the most reasonable action to take.
I rise on slightly trembling knees and take a few steps forward, pausing by the side of Hale’s desk.
“Lila.” He does that half-laugh thing again. “Comehere.”
He gestures to the space in front of him, an empty spot between the desk and his spread thighs.
I know she’s not going to, but I almost wish Lou would return. Not because I’m worried about Hale, but because I’m concerned about what kind of trouble I’m going to get myself in now that there’s no buffer between me and Hale. We can’t be alone together.
In fact, it’s apparent that I can’t be alone with any of them.
And sure, they’ve been levelheaded and mature about what’s happened so far, but who knows how one of them might react if things escalate beyond a kiss?
Despite all of that, I move to stand in the designated spot, leaning back against the edge of Hale’s desk. He gazes up at me, all dark and brooding and stoic.
“You’re really annoying,” I blurt.
Another laugh. “Oh? You don’t like being told what to do?”
“No, I do—well, I mean, only in some contexts. But that’s not what I mean.”
Hale’s casual posture, and the way he’s reclined in his seat below me as if he’s perfectly content to admire me from there, only serves to make my stomach flutter even more intensely. It’s almost like the knowledge that I’ve been canoodling with his subordinates has made him more relaxed than he’s previously allowed himself to be around me.
“Then what do you mean, Lila?”
“You’re annoying because I don’t understand you.” I brace my hands on either side of my hips, gripping the edge of the desk as if that will stabilize me. “You kiss me, then push me away. Kiss me again and push me away again. I tell you that I might have thing for two other people on the staff and you run from my apartment, then when it comes out that I’ve gone and kissed them, you suddenly look like… like…”
“Like…?”
“Like youlikeit.”
Hale cocks his head to the side. “Is it really so hard to believe? That I might be pleased by the prospect of two people I wholeheartedly trust also desiring you?”
“Uh.”
“It’s not the appropriate masculine response, isn’t it?” His gaze drifts downward, though it’s not like there’s much to admire beyond my high collar, loose sweater, and long skirt. “I should beat my chest and let out a war cry when a woman I want is also wanted by another, shouldn’t I?”
“Doyou want me? Because, like I said, you’ve pushed me away twice now.”
Hale rubs the light stubble on his jaw thoughtfully. “It’s complicated for me. I know I want you in a physical sense. That’s undeniable. But in terms of other kinds of wanting—romance and emotions and whatnot—I often struggle to figure out how I feel about those things.”
That’s vague, to say the least. “Okay…”
“I’m a career-oriented man,” he continues. “I’m always going to care about my duty more than pretty much everything else. Which means I’ve often worried that I’ll never have the time or energy to give a potential partner what she truly deserves.”
“Oh.”
“But if you can get more of what you deserve from others, too…”
“Oh.”
Hale shrugs. “It makes sense to me.”
“Right.”
“Does it make sense to you?”
I stare at him, feeling like a cornered animal. But, like, in a good way. Somehow.
