Once again, the reality of what we had just done slammed into me, almost engulfing me for a moment.For a split second, I thought I might panic.I hadn’t had a panic attack in years.
I used to have them in high school when I was busy worrying about my entire family and trying to make sure everybody was okay.It would get to be so much that I would just panic and almost blank out.I hadn’t even realized what was happening, initially thinking I was having a heart attack.My mom had actually taken me to the doctor, done the parent thing, where I learned all about panic attacks.
“Kendall.”Jude’s voice punctured that staticky feeling in my brain, and I opened my eyes again.
“Yeah?”
“You okay there?”
I took a shaky breath.“Well, there’s no turning back now.”
“No, there’s not.Do you wish there was?”
As I looked at him, I felt the smile stretch across my face.It felt as if my heart itself was smiling.“I don’t.How about you?”
He shook his head, leaning up to give me a kiss.
ChapterTwenty-Eight
Jude
The sound of Kendall’s stomach growling snapped through the hazy moment.We rolled out of bed, tugging on our clothes and settling down on the couch with the box of pizza on the coffee table.
Kendall was fond of nature shows, so we selected one about wild birds.I was fond of hanging out with her, so I didn’t care what we watched.A little while later, we fell asleep in bed with Travis making an elaborate show of circling repeatedly and pawing the bed to get it just right before he curled up at the foot of the bed.
As I listened to the sound of Kendall’s breathing, soft and steady in the darkness, I tried to ignore the tiny doubts, distant voices, miles away, trying to shout out that I wasn’t worthy of love.That had always been my fear.
The following day, Kendall rose early, and we showered together while she worked magic with her mouth on my cock.I was coming to the conclusion that I would have to marry her because I needed to shower with her every day.I also needed to sleep beside her every night and have mornings when she overslept, and I could study her.When I could lean over and kiss the imprint on her cheek from where she caught the sheet under her hand, and it pressed into her skin during the night.I cataloged these details, keepsakes that I would hold close forever.
ChapterTwenty-Nine
Kendall
The following day, I spent most of my time alternating between emotional panic and pure joy.I was overwhelmed with how I felt, with what had happened, all of it.I simply didn’t know what to do with those feelings because what followed was a regular day.
Jude had to get up and go to Heartfire Falls because he had a life, and it didn’t revolve around me.Meanwhile, I also had to go to work.As much as I absolutely loved my job, the small downside was that it was mostly me, except for Tommy helping out in the afternoons.I had a few volunteers who covered weekends, but even then, I often worked.Animal rescue was a fulfilling job, but it was a lot of work.I also had online coursework to do for my slow-mo veterinarian degree.
As I worked, my memory dialed back to the morning.Jude stood by the door.His hair was damp from the shower we had just taken together, and his blue eyes were bright.
“What are you doing today?”he asked.
I glanced over, taking in the fact that I knew every inch of this man’s body, that his hands had mapped mine more than once.In fact, this morning in the shower… I had to clear my throat as my thoughts began to derail.
“Kendall,” he prompted.
I gave myself a mental shake.“What do you imagine I’m going to do today, Jude?”I teased lightly.My cheeks got hot when his lips stretched in a slow grin, with a hint of knowing and heat contained in his gaze.
“Work,” he said simply.
“Yes.”
“Should we ride together?”he asked.
“Ride together where?”
“I’m going out to Heartfire Falls, and the rescue barn is right there, so I can drop you off.We can have dinner at the resort and then I’ll take you home,” he explained.
“Back here?”I squeaked.
