“For what?”
“Kendall, I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“I don’t think we’re going to,” I insisted.
A tiny voice in the corner of my mind tried to shout that maybe this was a little insane.I didn’t need to pressure him into this, but we kissed.Not once, but twice, and it felt amazing.
Yeah, and how many kisses have you had?another, more cynical voice chimed in.Because the reality was not many.
I hadn’t even dated in high school.I tried to date a little in college, and it never went great.Always a letdown.Always.The one guy that it had gone a little farther with blew up when my brother called me drunk and on the side of the road with his friends.I’d left to go get him.That guy—perfectly nice—had said he didn’t think he was ready for the complications.
But Jude knew everything, and he still wanted me.So I was grabbing onto that with both hands like it was everything.Maybe it really was.Which was probably reckless.I was never reckless.I was always the good girl.Picking up all the pieces my parents let scatter.Cleaning up my brother’s messes as best I could.Being responsible.
Now, I wanted to just grab onto this chance with Jude.
The sound of him taking a deep breath was audible.His hands dropped to his hips, and he fixed me with a look.
“We’re not doing this in the barn.I need to go back to the house because I have a few things to take care of for work, and I’ll come over later.We’ll have an actual rational conversation about this,” he said, sounding exasperated.
“Rational?”I pressed.
“Yes.Rational, Kendall.You’re one of the most responsible people I know, and what you’re proposing is crazy.”
“It’s not crazy.Well, it’s notthatcrazy.”
Jude stepped closer, reaching for one of my hands.His thumb moved back and forth in a slow stroke along the inside of my wrist.It soothed me while also sending sparks scattering over my skin.
“One step at a time, okay?You didn’t talk to me.You avoided me for a whole week.It’s not as simple as just saying, ‘fuck it, it’s all gonna work out, let’s get down and dirty in the barn in front of Travis.’”
Travis let out a yip at the sound of his name, and I bit my lip as I laughed softly.“Okay.I get it.What time?”
Jude shrugged.“Probably around six-ish.”
“Should I make something for dinner?”
“Actually, why don’t you come over to the resort for dinner?We’ll go to your place after.”
“Okay.”
Jude moved to step back, and yet again, I felt disappointment slam through me.But at the last second, he tightened his grip and stepped closer, palming my cheek before dipping his head to give me another kiss.
In a fiery hot second, our kiss went wild.Again.
Travis, being his pushy self, made sure to interrupt.We broke apart, staring at each other, breath heaving.
“Fuck, Kendall,” Jude muttered.
“You could do that,” I teased.
His low chuckle danced along my skin, sending a shiver through me.
“Six o’clock for dinner.”
“I’ll be there.”
I watched as he walked out before I leaned against the stall door and let out a deep sigh.
The jumble of feelings spinning inside was so confusing.I was overwhelmed with sensation and desire.That was its own mess.I was still a little embarrassed about the whole virgin situation.I was impatient.Even though I was trying to ignore it, I was anxious.
