Finn lifts my chin and turns my face so that he can cover my mouth with a deep kiss, his tongue in me.It blocks the sound I make when I shudder from head to toe.
I feel him cum inside me.We ran out of condoms a while ago.Yes, I’m crazy, because, no, I don’t care.
Later, we’re holding hands, floating on our backs in the dark water, staring at the sky.
“You’re a very good swimmer,” he says.
“Coming from a Navy SEAL, that’s high praise.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“You know I was a foster kid.”
“Yes.”
“I lived with a family for two years.They had a pool with a diving board, and I taught myself to swim and dive.”
“I think you’ve taught yourself a lot of things.”
“Yes.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence.I need to change the subject.“Anyway, I lived in that pool.Being in the water felt natural to me.I loved that pool.”
“But you didn’t stay?”
I smile to myself.Of course a man like Finn couldn’t know that’s not how it works when you’re in the system.It’s not about what the child wants.It never is.
That’s when we both notice that the sky is moving from purple-black to a pale gray.Morning is coming.Our night together is over.
I turn my face to him.He’s looking at me, very serious.
“Holy shit, Emma.”
I giggle.But softly.
“Thank you for that,” he says.
“Thank you, Finn.”
“I’ve never…” He doesn’t finish, but I know what he means.
“Me either,” I say.
We get out of the pool and race into the house, dripping water on the floor.That’s okay—I know the housekeeper.Finn grabs me for one last kiss before he goes to his room and I go to mine.
CHAPTER 50
Emma
I worked with a waitress at the truck stop who used to call this problem “pash rash.”She said it’s what you look like after you’d just spent the night with a man who left you raw and wild-eyed.Lips swollen.Loopy look on your face.Serious lack of sleep.
I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about.
Boy howdy, do I now.
Over the past three days, Finn and I have had maybe eight hours sleep.We’ve found creative ways to be together that don’t involve being in the house with Jasmine.There’s the horse barn tack room, as long as it’s late enough that no one will see us go in or early enough that no one will see us come out.
Once in Finn’s SUV, which was fun, but we ended up losing track of time and had to pick up Jasmine from school together.She had a few questions, as she always does, but we navigated it pretty well.
