Like my mother when I was thirteen.Amy at the very beginning of our life together.
That’s why I made the choice not to add anyone to my list of potential losses.Jasmine and my family and friends are already more than I can fucking handle.
I don’t want to bring a woman into the mix.Into my heart.Because then I would fear losing her.
Hey, I’m not proud of this, but it’s where I am.And I will forever abide by the foundation of my SEAL training—Know your strengths.Know your weaknesses.Know your attributes.Know yourself.
Andoh, shit, do I ever know what I want with Emma Clark.
I want to roll with her in my arms.Torture her with pleasure until she can’t take it.I want to hear her beg for me.I want to taste her as she comes in my mouth and feel her soft lips on my cock.
I want her to ride me.I want all that silky dark hair to flow through my fingers as she cries out in pleasure and I come in her.
I want Emma.
A sliver of light rises above the mountains and shoots over the windowsill.
Fucking finally.
I’m free.
I jump from the bed.Time to screw my head on straight.Time to let go of the fantasy and focus on what’s real, what’s important.It’s time to appreciate another twenty-four-hour opportunity to love and protect my daughter.
I stagger into the bathroom and turn on the shower.Automatically, I select my preferred hot water setting and then think better of it.I turn that fucker all the way to ice cold and jump in under the spray.
My body jolts.I wait for the shock to the system to set me back on the rails.The cold water pours over my head, my face, my shoulders, my back, and my dick.I wait some more.I lather up and rinse off.Any moment now.
I laugh and turn off the water, then towel myself off.
Nope.Still half hard.This is going to be one long-ass day.
I shave.Get dressed.Make my bed.As I reach out to open my bedroom door, I know there’s one last thing I need to do.I still.Take a breath.Center myself.“I’m sorry, Amy,” I whisper into the emptiness.“I’m sorry for betraying you.”
I leave my room and tiptoe down the hall so I don’t wake up Jasmine… and Emma.As I turn to go downstairs, I can’t help but stare at Emma’s closed door.My foot hits the top stair and I stop.
Temptation bangs against my head.I’m paralyzed.I’m also stupid and crazy.What am I thinking?What am I going to do—throw open Emma’s door and tell her I want her?
Idon’twant her.I can’t.All I want is for her to leave.I want her to not exist.
As I stand there, unable to continue down the stairs, I hear the front door open.I look down to see Evander standing in my living room with a sleepy Phyllis.He raises his face to me.
“Move your ass, big brother.It’s time to torture Cal.”
I double-time it downstairs.“Right.I forgot we’re doing that,” I whisper.“Thank you, Phyllis.”She yawns and pushes me out of the house.
“You boys still act like you’re twelve.”She closes the door.
Declan and Special K are on the front porch waiting for us.Their arms are full of materials that wouldn’t be out of place in the garage of a beer-guzzling serial killer.
Declan hands me a rope.Special K shoves a knife in his holster, hands Evander a canvas tarp, and grabs the handle of the beer cooler.We start walking to Cal’s house, which is just down the lane from mine.
“What if the groom isin corpus delicti?”Evander asks.
“You mean banging our new sister-in-law?”Declan asks.
“The word ‘banging’ shouldn’t be used when talking about our sister-in-law,” I say.
“Don’t be a pussy, Evander,” Special K says.“Don’t matter what he’s doing.We’re already in the execution phase of this mission.”
