I grab Finn and kiss him, hard, then pull back, summoning all my courage.
“Please understand.”I pause.“I don’t have a story of love to tell.It’s about being alone and empty.Of not mattering to anyone.It’s not a pretty story.I’m not ready to share it.”
“It’s okay, Emma.”
I shake my head again.“I know Phyllis has told you some—”
“A little, but I didn’t want to hear it from her.I wanted you to tell me.”
“I will.But not now.Please be patient with me.”
“I can do that, baby.Hey, it’s okay.”
He pulls me into him, and just like that, the shrinking and the fear subsides.I feel my body loosen.“I’ve worked hard to keep things separated—some feelings get stored here and others over there.It’s how I survived.”
He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight.
“Please give me a little more time to sort things out in my head so that I can talk about it, find the right way to tell you.”
“I saw it on your face that night at the fair,” he whispers.“Take as much time as you need, Emma.I’m not going anywhere.”
I pull back so that I can look at him.
“Thank you.”
We get dressed and drive back to school, where I left the SUV many hours ago.The whole trip, Finn holds my hand in his.He doesn’t say much, and I’m grateful for the quiet.I’m grateful for his patience.
But I can’t help but wonder just how badly I’ve fucked everything up.
I’m in love with him.
I don’t want to lose him.
I close my eyes, wishing I had anything to tell him other than the truth.
CHAPTER 57
Emma
“What’re you singing?”Jasmine asks.
“I wasn’t singing.”
“You were.Something about catching a lovebug and being breathless or something.”
“What?”If I’m singing my favorite Jonas Brothers song from middle school, I’m in love.In love all the way.“I’m sorry I put you through that.Nobody should ever have to hear me sing.”
Jasmine nabs a piece of carrot off the counter and shrugs.“Sounded like one of those mushy songs Cal and Victoria danced to at their wedding.”
“You don’t say.”
“What can I do to help?”Jasmine holds a wooden spoon in the air over her head.She looks like the Statue of Liberty, which makes me laugh.
“Give me just a few minutes to finish this part and I’ll tell you about something special we can do together.Sound good?”
“Yep!”
This little girl means so much to me.How have I managed to fall in head-over-heels in love with Finnandhis daughter?
