My guilt has lessened in the last few weeks, absolutely.I don’t feel it twisting in my gut like ground glass the way I used to.In fact, since Emma came into my life, I can go days without feeling crushed by grief and guilt.
It’s one of the many gifts Emma has given me.
I turn off the dirt road onto the meadow that leads out toward Sulphur Springs.It’s a breathtaking morning.There’s been an unusual cool mist over our neck of the Nevada woods this morning, and with it came a sense of calmness, an understanding that everything’s right with the world.The mist is dissipating, leaving a flawless, sun-filled sky in its wake.
They talk about the endless skies of Montana, but I’ll take a Nevada sky over Montana’s any time.Yosemite Ranch is alive with beauty, an unending reminder of how lucky we are to live out our days in this particular spot on the globe.The land nudges us and whispers that there’s something greater than us, watching over us.
I wonder if the natural beauty of the place has enthralled Emma in the same way it does me.She continues to look out the window, and I wonder if she’s simply enjoying the beautiful surroundings or if she’s got something else on her mind.
Something to do with her mysterious past.
Since she’s focused on the world passing by, I sneak a good hard look at the woman I’ve taken to my bed for over a week.Her long dark hair is loose, half tucked behind her ears, tendrils escaping around the frame of her face.I resist touching her, though I’d like nothing more than to let her hair slip through my fingers, then grasp a handful as I pull her close, capturing her mouth with mine.
I need to make her mine again.Now.
I press my foot to the gas pedal, pushing the SUV as fast as it can go in these rough conditions.There’s a spot she needs to see, and I need to be the one to reveal it to her.No heads-up about what’s coming.No hints.I want to watch her discover it.I want to watch her face when she sees it for the first time, standing at my side.
We cross the meadow, and I’m forced to slow down to tackle the rocks in the path.When they turn to boulders, I stop the car.I grab the quilt from the back, jump down, and run to the other side of the SUV to open Emma’s door.I help her out, making sure she doesn't twist an ankle on the rocks.
“What’s that sound?”
“You’ll see in a moment,” I tell her.“Patience.”
I bring the back of her hand to my lips.She reaches up to cup my cheek, looking so sweetly into my eyes that I can’t help but steal a kiss.A quick one.I pull back, excited to show Emma my favorite place on this planet.
With her hand in mine, I lead her up a hill to a spot dotted with sugar and pinon pines.Then I turn her to face the flowing river and hot springs visible from this vantage point, framed in rolling ranch lands and the towering Sierra Nevadas.
She gasps.“This is…whoa.It’s spectacular.”She shields her eyes with a hand.“Finn,wow.What is this place?”
“It’s my spot.”I point down to a clearing along the shore.“That’s where all the brothers hang out together, you know, drinking beer and shooting the shit.And when we were younger, we’d…” I decide to end my sentence there.
“Impress the chicks?”
I laugh.“We tried to, anyway,” I confess.“But that’s ancient history.Here, where we’re standing in this moment, this ismyspot.No brothers, beer, or chicks allowed.”
I pull Emma’s back against my front and wrap my arms around her slim body, lowering my lips to her ear.“I prefer views from above.Not as high as Declan, who’d be happy skimming along the edge of our atmosphere and outer space.But this height is perfect for me.This particular view.Out of all the places I’ve been on this Earth, this is what it’s all about for me.”
“I like your spot, Finn.”
“I’m relieved to hear it.”
“But I should probably point out that I’m a chick.”
“You’re my woman, Emma.Huge difference.And the only one I’ve ever wanted to share it with.”
She spins in my arms and stares up at me with huge, vulnerable eyes.
I touch her hair and stroke the curve of her silky cheek.“If you’ll have me.”
It turns out that she’ll have me.
She wraps her arms around my neck and jumps into my arms.Her legs grip me around my hips and her mouth crashes down on mine.I press her tight to my body, my hands cupping her ass as I’m wrapped in the warmth of Emma.Her fresh, light scent envelops me.Her hair falls like a dark satin curtain and brushes the sides of my face.
Every generous and loving touch I feel, every time her lips slip over mine, I am more sure of her, of us.Emma is telling me how she feels.Words aren’t needed.
I feel it too.
With her in my arms, I walk us to the soft bed of pine needles and drop to my knees.I spread the quilt and then lay my precious, beautiful Emma down.
