From the world.
From the poison.
From me.
17
Am I insane?
Aurora
“Whatisit,Lychik?”Sava asks as he turns into my long driveway, somehow catching my drifting emotions without me ever voicing them.
But where do I begin?
I now have confirmation you stalked me? I’ve never felt this good, weightless, and happy? I’ve never been more scared of anything like I am of you? My heart’s been trying to run out of my chest? I don’t know whether I’m making the right choice or the one mistake that will finally claim my soul? Can I forget you and all your pretty words when this ends?
In the end, I keep them all to myself.
I’m not an idiot. I know the score. I know what kind of women these hockey stars have in their lives, and just for one night I got to live out an outrageous dream of mine. So, I’ll choose to let it go, just for tonight, and be happy.
But would someone who just wanted sex one time go to all this trouble?I snuff out that naive voice in my head.
“Just thinking how good I feel right now.”
Sava frowns slightly, studying me as if he can see my every thought. He always does. Just like I see his. It always feels like I know him, and he knows me. And when I felt his body against mine…
A shiver runs down my spine at the thought.
Am I insane? Am I insane for feeling like I’ve felt him before? Like I’ve lived a lifetime with him? Like I’ve heard his voice and breathed in his air. But I’m confident we’ve never met before, let alone shared a bed.
I’ve only ever been with Emett’s father before tonight, for crying out loud.
I give my head a shake. “I should get going. Stella is probably a second away from calling search and rescue.”
“How do you know her?” Sava asks.
“Stella? She was my figure skating coach back in the day, before…” I trail off, clearing my throat. That’s a story I won’t go into. “Electra and I both trained with her, but in truth, she’s always been more like a mother, a best friend, my voice of reason on the worst days. But she’s also been my savior. She’s also a self-appointed grandma to Emett, so there’s no getting rid of her.” A warm smile graces my face.
“You do that.”
“Do what?”
“You cover something ugly or important with a lighthearted comment. I just wanted you to know that I see it, and I’ll let you have it. For now. But soon, Lychik, I want to see all of it. All the ugly.” He must see the expression on my face because he adds, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
“What does it mean? Lychik? And the other one you called me tonight?” I ask as my house comes into view, the events of today heavily weighing my bones down.
Severin parks his truck that now reeks of sex, killing the ignition, and leans over the same armrest where I was splayedlike a buffet entrée just an hour ago and takes my sleepy face into his hands. “Lychik means a small ray of sunshine. It’s resilient and peeks through the darkness despite it all. Like you do through mine.”
“I knew it was there,” I say, sleepily. “The darkness. I could feel it. And the other one?”
Maybe if I wasn’t half asleep and emotionally exhausted, I’d do a better job at catching the odd expression on his face, but alas, I don’t, and he keeps talking.
“Malysh is just a Russian endearment. It’s equivalent to baby in English, and I thought it fits you so well. Small, cute, but gives me all the sleepless nights.”
“Mm-hmm, please never use the English forms. These sound so much sexier.”
Sava chuckles and kisses the tip of my nose before kissing my swollen lips again. “I promise, I won’t. But maybe I should’ve called you zaichik.”
