“So,you mean to tell me you never imagined hittin’ your bitch over a balcony railing high above a city?”
I pictured the image so perfectly in my mind that it took all my strength not to get too excited. I could see the waves lapping at the shore and a breathtaking sunset on the horizon. I could hear the ocean’s every inhale and exhale, sounding like a spa soundtrack. I could even smell the fishy aroma coating my every breath and taste the salty air. And don’t get me started on Starlet’s perfect, caramel body bent over in front of me. That was the best part of the entire fantasy.
I clenched my hands, wishing they were gripping her hips instead of air. I’d have her ass howling to the moon, like she wasready to shapeshift. And you know what she’d be doing? Trying to run, and I wouldn’t let her. Not until the time was right.
Thankfully, Roach finally responded and snapped me out of my thoughts. “Hell nah. A nigga afraid of heights.” I chuckled and hugged myself as a chill wafted through the vent I sat beside. “I would fuck my bitch under the stars or something though.”
“Scary ass nigga,” I teased.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be scary, but on the real, how you feel about the early release?”
I couldn’t even contain my smile as my head tapped the concrete wall behind me. My time had finally dwindled to mere hours until I was a free man again. After seven long years, my faith was fragile. I wouldn’t even believe it until I was on the other side of these walls.
“I ain’t gon’ lie; I’m excited to get back to my life. Marry my girl, watch my son grow up, and just live a better quality of life. Be a better man.”
I eyed the dingy walls with peeling paint and water spots on the roof from years of rain. I spent a lot of cold nights and hot days in this concrete coffin. I didn’t want a lot, just to be out this bitch and able to cuddle up with my woman after a long day. I wanted to be able to take my son to a Solaire Suns game to watch my favorite player, Kianis Kinga, dominate the court.
“I understand that. It’s been a long run. I know your girl will be happy you’re going home.”
I smiled because Starlet was my fucking heart. She was four feet nine and shaped like a Pixar mom. Her cheeks were the chubbiest and made her look so innocent, but she was far from it. I was in awe of her beauty from the first time I saw her. It broke both of our hearts to be apart, but we did the best we could. I would never forgive myself for missing my son’s birth and the first seven years of his life. But I’d promised myself I would do everything I could to make up for it when I got home.
Star didn’t even have a clue I was going home earlier than expected. My lawyer had gotten my sentence reduced from ten years to seven, with good behavior and community credits. So instead of not touching down until I was another decade older, I wouldn’t lose my entire twenties, as expected.
I heard the soft click of a lock and hopped up from the floor. I was one of the first out of their cell. Roach came out of his room and dapped me up before I beelined it for the phone. One thing I didn’t play about was phone privileges. Every chance I got, I was calling my woman. She was the only one I had in my corner out there because my mother was too busy chasing her addictions to worry about my well-being.
The phone rang three times before Star’s voice came through the line. We’d been on lockdown for a week, so I hadn’t spoken to my baby in days.
“Hey, baby.” She greeted me cheerily. “I was worried about you.”
I chuckled. “Wassup, mama? I don’t know how many times I have to tell you not to worry. I’m always good, bae.”
She sighed like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. “I know, but still, knowing you’re in there will never settle my nerves. I can’t wait until you come home. I miss you so much.” Her voice was so adorable and was the only thing to settlemynerves in this hellhole. “I know, mama. I’ll be home sooner than you think.” I wanted to tell her so badly, but I liked the idea of surprising her more. She was going to cry big, fat, ugly tears when she saw her nigga in the flesh. The phone calls and letters weren’t nearly enough. Starlet was too precious for a place like this, so I made her stay away for her sanity and mine. The last thing I needed was anyone trying to find my weaknesses. As a nigga from the Northside, I had enemies all over.
“Anyways, tell me about your day, beautiful. Did you get that bouquet I sent you?”
She squealed in the cutest way. “Yes, I did. Thank you so much, bae. You’re so sweet. I don’t deserve you.”
“Nah, I don’t deserve you. Thank you for holding me down, baby. I know everybody ain’t able, but you’ve never failed me. I promise to make your sacrifice worth it.”
The line fell silent, but before I could say anything else, I heard Roach whistle from nearby. I glanced up to find him leaning against a table. He nodded toward the group of men coming toward the phones. I cursed under my breath because they were fucking up the energy already.
“I gotta go, baby, but I’ma call you again, as soon as I can. I love you.”
“Aww, no, you just called. What the fuck, Perfect? Don’t go.”
I could hear the pout in her voice and could even picture her on the other end of the phone. But this wasn’t optional. I’d already gotten into multiple altercations with the group headed my way, and the last thing I was going to do was jeopardize going home in the next twenty-four hours.
“Gotta go, baby. I promise I’ll call you back.”
I placed the phone back down and sighed. I was so done with every part of my life being dictated by gang beefs, ignorant COs, and a state that never cared about my black ass in the first place. I knew there was more to life than this lifestyle, and I was going to find it. A nigga was beyond tired of the bullshit.
Roach fell in step with me as we left the phones behind. I saw Asar eyeballing me, but I kept quiet about it. He wasn’t worth everything it would cost me to speak on his infatuation with me. The nigga was always fucking with me, and I didn’t know how many times I would have to knock him on his ass for him to understand I wasn’t to be fucked with.
I stopped outside of a cell door and knocked.
“Son.” My father, Ricardo, greeted me the second his eyes landed on me. He was in the corner of the room with his partnerin crime, Deuce, rolling dice for snacks neither of their popped bellies needed. Trust me when I say they weren’t missing any meals.
I sighed, then walked deeper into the cell. Roach posted up by the door with his foot resting on the wall. I took a seat on my father’s bottom bunk and dropped my face in my hands. All I could think about was what it was going to feel like to be a free man again. I knew so much had changed in the seven years I’d spent locked up, and the last thing I wanted to do was not adapt well. Niggas who didn’t adapt well always ended up back in prison or worse. I didn’t want that for myself.
