If what we had was the real thing, she would have given me the courtesy of coming clean. It wouldn’t have taken a stranger to put me up on game, and we wouldn’t be taking a thirty-minute drive with only her sniffles as background noise. I needed time to put all the pieces together.
“Let me know when you make it home.”
That was all I could think of to say as Shanet exited my car. She paused for a minute before she answered.
“I will. Be safe getting home.”
As soon as she closed the door, I pulled off. I knew she was safe because that whole neighborhood would kill for anybody who worked at that group home, especially Shanet. I needed to get home to a real drink.
It had been almost a week,and I hadn’t gotten so much as a text from Stone. The last thing I received was an acknowledgment when I told him I made it home the night he dropped me off back at the group home. I was sick because I knew this was all my fault.
If I had told him about Devonte, we wouldn’t be in this situation, but I was ashamed. I worked so hard to put Devonte, my mother, and every other toxic person I knew in my past out of my life. Seeing Devonte in the same city as me, working as a realtor, was not what I was expecting.
My phone rang and pulled me out of my thoughts. It was Tuesday, and I had taken the last two days off work because Iwas physically sick. All I could think about was that Devonte had found me and how bad I’d messed things up with Stone.
“Hello.”
I hadn’t heard my own voice in two days, so the raspiness caught me off guard. The word sounded as if it had to be forced out. It felt like it too.
“What’s up, Dr. E? You sound sick. You good?”
“Hey, Sakani.” I didn’t know if Stone had filled him in on what was going on with us, so I kept it cool. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just waking up from a nap.”
“Oh, okay. Well, I was calling to invite you over for Taco Tuesday. Stone bought new games and all. You want to come?”
“Did you ask Stone if it was okay for me to come over, Sakani?”
“No, I haven’t seen him yet. I caught the bus home today, so I haven’t made it yet.”
“And you decided to call me from the bus?”
“Yeah, I need to talk to you in person about something, so I thought Taco Tuesday would be a good time for all of us to get together.”
“Well, maybe you should talk to Stone first.”
“I mean, I know you’re technically not my counselor anymore since I’m not in Renewed, but Dr. E, I really need to talk to you.”
I wanted to tell Sakani he should talk to Stone about whatever it was because I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries again. I was already on thin ice with Stone, and this would just be something else that kept us apart. I’d worked hard to gain Sakani’s trust and show him that not all adults abandoned you. Reneging on him now would only work to dismantle everything we had worked on together.
“Okay, I’ll be there. But, Sakani, run it by Stone first.”
“I will, fasho. See you tonight.”
“Okay. See you then.”
I hadn’t gotten off the couch in two days except to shower, and I only did that because I couldn’t stand to smell myself. Dressing up tonight made me feel like I had life left in me. I kept it simple with a cute, pink jogger set and some white tennis shoes.
My hair was in a slicked-back ponytail. My ponytail had loose curls that bounced every time my head moved. I also kept my makeup simple, with a no-makeup look that really accentuated my natural features.
I felt stupid as I walked up to Stone’s door. Although Sakani had insisted I come tonight, I still felt like I wasn’t invited because I didn’t get a call or text from Stone. I’d been trying to get in touch with him since everything went down with Devonte, but he was avoiding me, and I couldn’t blame him.
Stone valued honesty, and I had shown him I couldn’t honor that. Lying by omission was the same as flat-out lying. The only difference was that you didn’t speak up when you had every opportunity to.
I knocked on the door and waited for whatever version I got of him on the other side of it. When it swung open, I was so happy to be greeted by Sakani. He was wearing the biggest smile, and I knew Stone wouldn’t be.
“You late, Dr E. I almost thought you flaked on us.”
“You know I wouldn’t do you like that.”
