“Right.” I wince. God, I’m bad at this. I never had to comfort anyone through anything. My entire life had been spent learning how to harden myself, so by the time I became boss, nothing could affect me.
“Don’t look so concerned,” Declan deadpans. “Doctor Williams patched me up quickly. I’m as healthy as a horse.”
“Glad to hear it.” Though I probably sounded anything but. This is why I never do small talk. “Um, I guess I should say thank you.”
He finds my discomfort hilarious, letting out a laugh that shakes the room. “You guess, huh? You’d think I gifted you a fruitcake, not took a whole bullet for you the way you’re acting now.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve just never had to comfort someone before and I’m feeling really out of my element right now.”
He fails to school the smirk on his face. “Comfort me? Have you decided to take on a gig as a bedside nurse or?”
“What, no! Definitely not. But I’ve been warned not to come in guns blazing?—”
“Metaphorically speaking, or literally. Because I know there’s a risk of both options happening if I piss you off.”
“Ah, I forgot you saw that.” Perhaps killing a man could have waited until I made sure Declan had been properly cared for.
“I’ll never forget it.”
“It was quite a scene. Hopefully, it sent a clear enough message.”
“It did. There’s a lot of things I’m seeing clearer now.” The latter part he whispers to himself but I’m still able to catch it.
The words confuse me, but I don’t probe more. The list of things I need to ask him about is already extensive; I don’t need to add another. At least not tonight.
“I never thought you’d be one to bite your tongue, Zahra. And yet I can tell that’s exactly what you’ve done from the moment you walked in.” He groans as he moves to sit up, closing the space between us so our faces are only a few inches apart. “What are you holding back?”
My throat tightens, sweat forming on my palms. “It’s always been hard for me to trust people. But with you, it's nearly impossible. I don’t know if I can ever do it.”
His eyebrows knit together. “And why’s that?”
I could lie, but that would only drag out whatever game we’d both been playing with each other even longer. I need answers now. No matter how much they hurt to get. “Because I blame you for the death of my father, and your own. And I hate you for it.”
Declan’s eyes close, and the machine tracking his pulse starts to beep quicker. His heart is racing. For the first time tonight, Declan looks genuinely uncomfortable, which is saying a lot given that a few hours ago, he had a bullet lodged inside him.
“I don’t fault you for hating me.” He takes in a few long, deep breaths, slowing his heart rate down slightly, fists clenching the white sheets on his bed. “How could I when you’re right? I did kill them.”
16
ZAHRA
‘Idid kill them.’
Declan’s words ring in my ears over and over again as the room starts to spin. My stomach feels like it's turned inside out and the sterile chlorine smell of the room chokes me. I try to speak but my throat is constricted, refusing to let a sufficient amount of air in.
He killed them. He tried to kill me. And I was sitting alone in a room with him. Defenseless.
In a flash, I’m on my feet, throwing open the closest drawer to me, and grabbing an empty needle. Not my ideal choice of weapon but I’ll stab him in the eye if I have to. Whatever it takes to walk out of here alive. Whatever it takes to get my revenge.
Declan’s eyes widen as I charge at him. Before I can strike him, he wraps his large hands around my wrists and throws me a bit off balance. His injury has clearly weakened his strength, as he’s unable to keep me away. He resorts to begging instead. “Christ love. I didn’t mean it like that. It came out wrong.”
“Oh no. You don’t get to deny it now. Not with all the evidence I have against you. All I needed was your confession, and now I have it,” I hiss, though there’s a voice in the back of my head yelling at me to listen to him.
Declan cocks his head, voice remaining calm. “It wasn’t a confession. Though I would love to hear what you’ve managed to dig up about me.”
“Oh, I’m sure you would. That way, you can spin your web of excuses to try to get out of this.” I shift slightly, holding the needle at his neck.
Declan winces. “I didn’t kill our fathers. At least not in the literal sense. I couldn’t save them. And I should have. I should have been there. But I wasn’t. And that is something that will haunt me forever.” His eyes begin to turn glassy, causing me to freeze in place. How is he able to do that, come off so genuine and sincere while lying straight to my face?
