My hand immediately moves to the holster tucked under my blazer, ensuring it is in place. “What’s wrong? Have you been attacked?”
“No. No, nothing like that. It’s just, uh…” He tugs at his collar.
“Just say it, Arman. I’m a big girl, you don’t have to coddle me. I can handle it,” I snap.
Arman winces at my harsh tone, and a small wave of guilt hits me. Arman had been one of the few members of my father’s staff who treated me with nothing but respect since the moment I took over. Clearly, I had some of my own insecurities I need to work through. Just because some men doubted my ability to rule doesn’t mean that all of them did. And while those who doubted me deserved to be shunned by me, I need to be better at showing grace to those who had put their necks out on the line to support me.
“Forgive me, Arman. The current situation with all the shipments has had me…in a mood.”
He gives me a tight smile. “There’s nothing to forgive. Declan’s here. He just insists on meeting you in the garden.”
Declan wants to meet me out in the open air? Damn, maybe Azula was right and he did have a sniper out to get me. Killing me in my own home would be ballsy but I wouldn’t put anything past Declan these days. Or maybe it was just a dick measuring contest.
Arman senses my hesitation. “Given Declan has come into our estate twice now, maybe a small compromise with meeting him in the garden would be a kind gesture between allies?”
Dammit, he had a point. I’m still supposed to be pretending that I don’t despise Declan. “Has the perimeter been checked?” I ask, hoping I didn’t come off as overly suspicious.
“Three times. I wouldn’t allow you, or Declan, to remain outside if I had any concerns.”
“Thank you, Arman.” I give him a small smile before letting out a deep breath and stepping outside.
With spring slowly starting to fade into summer came the suffocating humidity. I debate leaving my blazer inside but that would leave me unarmed, so instead I tolerate the sweat that’s already started to form down my back. Declan appears to be equally impacted by the new rise in temperature, though he’s smart enough to come in a white cotton t-shirt and black jeans. He looks so…normal. Like any other man I’d pass on the street. Well, any other man who was 6'3, had incredible posture, and biceps that were so defined I’m sure they could be seen from a mile away. Still, there was such a casual undertone to his stance, the way he looked at the tulips in my father’s garden with curiosity, and the boyish smile he sent my way as I approached.
“I was beginning to think you forgot about me.” Declanremoves his sunglasses, tucking them into his shirt, the color of his eyes a beautiful mix of green and blue.
“Nope. Though I wasn’t planning on meeting you outside.” I keep my voice cold and distant, like I’d rather be getting a root canal than conversing with him. A fact he clearly doesn’t miss as his cheerful expression drops. The twisted part of me relishes seeing the smug expression fall from his face. It’s the least he deserves. But the rational part of my brain yelled at me to put on a facade.
I have to get closer to him, both emotionally and physically. With my lack of success in being able to remotely hack into his phone and computer, I’d come up with an alternative. A small bug I designed that could connect to his cellphone and transfer all the files and information stored. The only catch is I haven’t tested it out yet. Which means I’m not entirely sure how close I need to be in order for my device to detect Declan’s phone…and I also don’t know how long the transfer would take. So naturally, this means I have to stall as long as possible, and do the one thing that drew a true shudder from me. Engage in small talk.
“So, any reason in particular you wanted to meet in my father’s garden as opposed to the perfectly air-conditioned building a few feet away?” Flashing Declan a genuine smile, I take a step closer to him and feel my phone vibrate.Perfect, it’s working. Now I just needed to keep him occupied here long enough.
“It’s the first warm day of the year. What could be better than taking in the sun and walking around a garden?” He shoves his hands into his pockets almost as if he’s…nervous. Like he’s waiting for me to scoff at him.
I suppose, in his defense, that is a pretty accurate assumption of what I wanted to do. But no matter how good he is at pretending to be authentic, I can’t fall for his charms. Still, Iguess there’s no harm in letting himthinkI’m softening up to him.
“Well, I can’t say I love the fact that I can feel my boobs starting to sweat, but I haven’t seen all the flowers that have bloomed yet, so I’ll let you win this battle.” The words fall out of my mouth before I can stop them. Welp. Can’t say I had entirely planned on talking about boob sweat with Declan today, but this is how I normally talk to my friends, so maybe he’ll appreciate the clear effort I’m trying to put in. Or maybe he’ll think I’m a nutcase. Either works for me.
My face starts to heat and I know for certain I’m blushing. Great. As if he needs another thing to tease me about. He presses his lips together. Hard. No doubt trying to prevent the laugh that is desperately begging to come loose from his mouth.
Gesturing toward the stone path in front of us, I take a step forward and Declan follows. Good. I need him close to me.
Between the sun beating down on me and Declan’s cocky-yet-lethal demeanor, I know these next few hours were about to be a nightmare. The only saving grace is the fact that after this, I would have everything I needed to silence Declan for good.
10
DECLAN
Good news, bad news.
The bad news is that Zahra definitely hates me. Why, I have no idea. The good news is—it’s possible that she hates the world right now, not just me per se, which I can’t blame her for. The world was a dumpster fire on a normal day, not to mention the fact that she had recently lost Naser… I can’t blame her for being angry at everything and everyone.
I try to remind myself of my true intentions for today, to let my guard down in front of her and show her that I’m more than a business ally. I’m a friend. Or, at least, I want to be. Taking a walk in her father’s garden was my first attempt at showing her that, to assuage the ongoing guilt and nightmares I’d been experiencing, and instead to remind myself of all the happy moments I’d spent with my father and Naser. Admittedly, I couldn’t take credit for this idea. Maura had found me wide awake in the kitchen at three am two nights ago. From the hollow look in her eyes, I suspected she had also been kept up by her own dreams. We both gave each other a sympathetic smile while I made us a warm cup of tea.
Maura rarely divulged the details of her life to us, but that night she let me see a part of her I never knew. She told me about a love so bright and glamorous that it was all she could have ever hoped for as a young girl. Until it wasn’t. Until she spent every night wondering whether the blows she received that night would be verbal or physical. With two young kids in tow, she felt trapped. Especially back then, when a woman wasn’t even allowed a credit card in her own name. So she stayed. She stayed until a new neighbor moved in next door. A woman who showed her kindness she’d never known before. A woman who helped her escape and remained one of her best friends to this day.
Over the years, Maura had so many good memories that the past faded away like an old photograph. But some nights her memories came back. And in those moments, she poured herself a cup of tea and replayed all the happier days in her head. Over and over again, until she could breathe. So she could feel free again. At the end of our heart-to-heart, Maura had given me a homework assignment—to fight off my guilt by remembering all the good moments. To not let one of the worst days of my life taint the better days to come. I promised her that I would try. And here I was, trying.
“Have the roses bloomed yet?” A neutral question. One that should be safe enough. I brace for impact, but it never comes.
