“It’s just us now.”
My voice causes her to jump out of her seat. Her hands fly to her desk as she grabs a pencil and points it at me like one would hold a knife towards an intruder. It takes her a second to snap out of her alarmed state. “Jake?”
“Were you really going to stab me with a pencil?”
“I thought you were a burglar. Or a serial killer.”
“What serial killer would announce their presence?”
“An overly dramatic one that likes to draw out the process? I don’t know.” She finally lets go of the sharpened writing utensil.
“Maybe you should lay off the true crime podcasts.”
“I prefer murder mystery novels to true crime podcasts, also love an episode of Law & Order SVU. Plus, you chose to announce yourself in one of the most ominous ways possible. Next time try ‘Hey Eliana, it’s me Jake.’ instead of‘It’s just us now.’You have to realize how creepy that sounded.”
“Fair enough. I apologize. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be hanging here for a bit.”
“Right of course.” She nods her head as if this a regular occurrence, turning and typing a few extra words before freezing. “Wait what? I really need to finish this paper tonight, and there’s a strong chance I may need to pull an all-nighter, so ifyou’re hoping to get some last-minute tutoring in tonight, I really don’t think I’ll be able to make it work.”
“I finished all my exams for this week.”
“Oh. Right. I knew that.” She pulls up her calendar, which also includes reminders related to my schedule. My throat tightens at the reminder that she only includes alerts for super important things in her calendar and evidently, I made the cut. “How did your psych exam go?”
I make a show of knocking on her wooden desk, “It felt good. There weren’t any questions that I felt totally lost about which is a huge step from how the first exam went. Hopefully we’ll get some good news soon.”
Her lips form into a proud smile, “That’s amazing Jake, I knew you could do it.” She gestures back to her computer. “We should celebrate once you get your grade back, but I don’t really think I have time to hang out tonight…”
“I figured as much, but you do need to have dinner. Which is why I thought I’d come over and make some food for us while you work.”
She looks so uncomfortable at my declaration I almost wonder if she would’ve preferred I was a serial killer instead of her friend and occasional fake boyfriend. “You really don’t need to do that.”
“I know, but you tasting my dad’s famous vodka sauce is number one on the priority list for me. He’s been showing me the ropes in the kitchen for this very moment,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
The look of discomfort remains on her face.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I appreciate your help, really I do. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to swoop in and fix all my problems. I know I’m bad at prioritizing my own needs sometimes, maybe even alot of the time, but that’s somethingIneed to work on. Not something you need to feel responsible for.”
“It’s just one dinner, Eliana. Not a permanent contract for me to be your private chef. You spend most of your time taking care of other people. The thought of someone spending a couple hours taking care of you makes you that uncomfortable?”
Her eyebrows furrow together, and I catch her jaw clench like I struck a nerve. Ah shit. I expect her to yell at me but instead she bites her bottom lip before finally conceding. “Dinner sounds great, thanks Jake. I do really need to finish work though, so I can’t help.”
“Not a problem. My dad’s recipe is a big family secret. Like I’d have to kill you if you found out. And given you made it very clear you have an aversion to being murdered…”
“I’m sure most people would have an aversion to being murdered.”
“It’s for the best that you stay here while I work my magic,” I tease, catching an eye roll from her before I head back into the kitchen.
Chapter 23
Eliana
There was a seventy percent chance I was currently dreaming about Jake spontaneously coming over to cook me dinner while I finished this paper. I probably fell asleep hungry and any moment now, I would wake up. Except the scent of tomato sauce and garlic filling my room was too real to be a dream. Also not a dream, Jake Keeley had discovered one of my biggest insecurities — my tendency to overwork myself because it makes me uncomfortable to ask for help.
Over the years I realized two things. The first was people would never leave you if you had something to offer them. My dad left me and my mom because in his eyes all she did was take, and I was just a kid so I couldn’t give much. The second thing I learned was that the only person I could truly rely on was myself.
With these two truths I had lived my life for others and never asked, or expected, much in return. I had learned to do everything on my own. Learned that even though Iwantedsomeone to care for me, I didn’t necessarilyneedsomeone to take care of me. And that was okay…But some days, when I could feel every single bit of the weight of all I had to carry on my shoulders, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like if someone could burden some of that weight with me.
