He signals to the bartender who sets down two beers in front of us before turning his attention back to me.
“Damn you went to New York and everything changed, huh?”
“Yeah. It was like another world out there. Now I’m back here and everything feels different too.”
“Eh things aren’t that different.”
“You have a mullet now.” The last time I saw Mikey he had abuzzcut. Now brownish blonde hair was hanging at his shoulders.
“The ladies love the long hair.”
“You sure about that?”
A wicked grin takes over his face as he tugs down the collar of his shirt to reveal a hickey. “Positive.”
“Jesus.” I let out a laugh while I sip from my beer. “Still a fucking menace I see.”
“You’re one to talk. Back in the day, I could have used noise-canceling headphones when we lived together.”
“I plead the fifth.” I guess I deserve that. Both of us took being bachelors in college very seriously. “I do really appreciate you meeting me here. And I’m sorry it took me so long to reach out.”
Talking to Mikey had always been so easy. After spending a few minutes here, the weight of all the chaos in my life already felt lighter. That lightness is quickly replaced with a feeling of guilt. I never should have shut him out of my life. No matter how embarrassed or ashamed I felt, Mikey would’ve understood. Would’ve been there for me. Plus, I knew all too well how much it hurt when someone you cared about stopped talking to you without warning. “I was just in a really bad place after I had to retire and…and I couldn’t face you. Couldn’t face anyone really.”
He toys with the pint glass in front of him, eyebrows scrunched together like he needs to think about how he wants to respond. “I get it, man. I just wanted you to know that I was here for you if you needed it.”
We both take large gulps of our beers, needing a moment to work our way back from our unexpected heart-to-heart. Mikey clears his throat like he’s clearing the air. “So, what’s this I hear about you coaching at Westchester now?”
“Dude, it's literally insane. All I know is I went in ready to beg Coach to let me clean the locker rooms or wash some jerseys, and the next thing I know I’m an assistant coach.”
“What the hell do you know about coaching?”
“Literally nothing.”
“Damn. He really must be desperate.”
“Fuck you.” I laugh, shoving his shoulder. “It’s a provisional position. Meaning if I fail, I’m back to square one.”
“You’re not gonna fail, Mason.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Mikey looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, I mean. Not exactly playing for the NHL anymore, so…”
“Because you got injured. After some of the best seasons we’ve seen from a player in decades.”
He wasn’t the first person to remind me of all I had achieved in such a short time. But being reminded of the glory doesn’t really ease the sting of the fall like people think it will. It serves as a reminder of all you had left to achieve. Now I have nothing to show for my efforts beyond a couple of healed scars and some old highlight tapes. And the lingering pain that comes with getting the one thing you always wanted and having it taken away from you in an instant.For the second time in my life.Unable to say anything, I just shrug in response.
“You’ve always been way too hard on yourself, Mason.” Realizing he had walked us back into a heart-to-heart, he switched gears. “Anything else going on in your life?”
Why is the only other thing I can think of related to Violet? “Violet’s at Westchester now, for her PhD. She’s also working as a teaching assistant for one of my players.”
“Oh.” Mikey was the first person I reached out to for advice once I realized Violet had ghosted me. He’d also spent many nights in New York with me as I drank my way through the rejection. He’s probably wondering why I just responded to his question about my life with an update about hers.Why did I do that?
“The first time I ran into her it was like she didn’t know me.”That fucking sucked.“And the times where I’ve tried to confront her about what happened between us…haven’t gone well.” It felt good to finally talk to someone about this. Is this why girls are always drinking wine and complaining about their boyfriends? There might be something to that…
“That sounds about right.” He lets out a small laugh. “The only person I know who is more stubborn and better at denying their feelings than you is her.”
