I just bobbed my head and followed her, looking for tiny white flowers but not overly confident I had a clue what I was doing. Phin started a course a little bit higher up and then walked horizontally, kicking over stones and moving tangled nests of vines with the toe of her boot. Just about the time I was ready to suggest we move on, that we could try another door, sheyelped again and repeated her harvesting ritual with the other plant.
“This place was perfect,” she enthused, carefully removing her gloves and placing them in the satchel.
“It was the most likely candidate. I think Rylan’s garden would do well here, also. And there’s nobody it could harm here.” She looked pleased at that.
We made our way down the hill, stopping to catch our breath near the lake.
It was cool in the shade next to the water, the brackish smell a fair trade for a reprieve from the brutal sun and heat. I took the bag off and offered her the bottle of water. She sipped, expression peaceful as she blotted away the moisture from her face.
I’d looked away, gazing into the distance when Phin’s harsh grunt had me spinning around. She was doubled over, fresh dots of sweat lining her brow.
“Phin?” Fear clawed coldly through my veins as she slowly sank to her knees, body curled in half.
She groaned, hands pressing against her abdomen. “No, no. It’s so soon!” she cried out and her eyes filled with tears. Everything in me screamed to help her.
“Just tell me what you need, Feather, I’ll do it.”
She grimaced and trembled, unable to speak. Her breath shuddered, and she moaned out, the sound of her agony cutting into my thoughts like a blade. She looked terrified. After several long minutes, she sobbed and breathed shallowly, the worst of the pain seeming to have passed for the moment. “I… need… you.”
I battled with myself as I sat on the damp undergrowth and pulled her across my lap. I cupped her face with my hand. “Not like this, Feather. This is not how we confirm our bond after what I just put you through.”
“Why are you arguing with me again?” she asked through gritted teeth, though I could see the flash of humor as her mouth twitched at the corner. “I thought we settled this. If you don’t want me, just say so.” She laughed, but it was cut off by another surge of pain.
My demon roared, and I could feel my teeth lengthening despite her levity. “Neverdoubt that I want you, Phin. I told you before, I was haunted by you from the very first moment I saw your eyes through that window. I endured all that time knowing you are my mate and allowing the bond to burn me from the inside out. But this is not how I want to revisit intimacy between us. Didn’t we agree on slow? This is the opposite of that.”
“Doing nothing means pain.” She panted as another terrible spasm gripped her. “I don’t know that I’ll be okay if I have to go through that again.” Her words landed like daggers, and I clutched her to my body. “I am myself enough to decide, Tap. I know what I want. I choose you. I would always have chosen you.”
I clenched my jaw, the words a knife straight to my heart. “Then we set our own terms. We’re going to get you home, to a place where you can be safe and comfortable. Alright?” I cupped her face, blood on fire at the prospect of everything I had never dared to dream of being held between my hands. “Once you’re past this part of the cycle, you have a rest period, right?”
She nodded. “Yes. At least a few weeks.” She sobbed again. I hated every bit of this.
“Good. We’ll send these to Greta so she can start working on what you need to keep this from happening again. Then we do what it takes to get you through this, the way you want to. Okay?”
“Yes.”
“Can you walk?” She started to nod and got halfway up but couldn’t completely unfold without pain. I put the satchel backover my shoulder and scooped her into my arms, all but jogging back to the doorway and leaping through the portal that would take us to the crossroads.
Chapter 32
Tap
Isettled Phin in a cool bath, opting to use hers so she had her own items for comfort as soon as we got back.
Seir’s eyes were wide as I went back to the hall. All he’d seen was me bursting through a portal and carrying her at a jog toward our living quarters.
“What’s happening?”
“I need a few days. Nobody in or out of this place. All doorways will be inactivated.”
“Okaaay.” He raised an eyebrow, watching as I began preparing to divert several portals. “I can do that. Is she alright?”
“She’ll be fine.”
He nodded but didn’t press. “This could be a good test for Keplar’s candidates, I guess.”
“You have my approval for whatever you think is best, as long as the doors are monitored. I’ll send word when it’s okay for you to come back.” I hustled my brother toward the portal back to the glade.
“You’re actingverystrangely,” Seir said, trying to glance at me over his shoulder. “And that’s saying something, brother.”
