“Yes.”
I removed my hands like they’d been burned, forcing several slow breaths so I could calm down. This was not the time to fall prey to my own base desires. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She sobbed quietly as they retracted again, curling into herself on the bed. “What do I do?”
“I don’t know. But you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. I’m sure this is more comfortable than a cold bathroom floor.” I moved some blankets and pillows closer, and she reached for the ones she wanted, curling herself around a pillow, burying her legs under a blanket.
I did my best to soothe Phin as her body racked itself again and again, minutes stretching into hours as we lay there together. Sweat dotted her forehead as she quietly screamed her throat raw, her wings so aggressively punching out several times that I’d worried about her breaking the fragile bones and had collected a whole pile of damaged feathers. I didn’t know where to put my hands, but I was unable to keep them to myself with my mate writhing in pain before me. At one point I gathered her into my arms and pulled her across my body, her face buried in my chest as I gently rocked us both. I stroked her hair and apologized for my inability to stop what was happening to her. I reassured her she was going to be alright and that we’d figureout a way to stop whatever had gone wrong even though I had no idea where to begin with such a thing. I would have promised her anything if it would have soothed her even for a few minutes.
Eventually, the time between episodes finally started to stretch, and then they were finally gone altogether. I forced myself to rouse as I started to fall asleep.
Phin was dozing on my chest, and her eyes fluttered open as I brushed some damp curls off her forehead. “I’m going to go get a few things. You’ll be alright?”
She managed a weak nod and slid off me into a stack of pillows. I climbed to my feet, loath to leave her in such a state but eager to at the very least find her something to eat. She had to be exhausted after all that, and I’d been interrupted while preparing dinner.
Every step I took toward the door increased the pressure in my chest, but I forced myself to ignore it. I left her there, on my bed, in my clothes.
I’d never been more hesitant to leave nor more eager to return to that room.
I usedtowels to clean the water off the floor in her bathroom, then I threw them and her discarded clothing in the washing tub. I went back into her room and pocketed her jewelry, hopeful getting it on her skin would help. After checking for the right colors, I also took the elixirs Greta had mentioned. The new mirror Vassago had made me joined the other items after I did a speed-walk through the great hall, checking as well as redirecting and disabling as many gates as I could. When I finally made it back to the kitchen, I prepared a tray of food and drinks, driven to tend to her needs even if I wasn’t sure whatthey might be. The bouquets of flowers Vassago had brought me from Vincara all got hastily dropped into one large vessel, and I carried that in the crook of my elbow, pleased that there was a lovely fragrance to the bundle.
When I got back, Phin had woken and was finishing up her own project. I nearly dropped the tray as I took her in. My shirt was puddled around her thighs as she sat on her heels, arranging pillows and blankets along every edge of my mattress. She was sniffing them before she put them down, frowning with pensive focus as she moved everything to her liking. Some of her feathers were tucked into the folds of the fabrics, an intentional mixing of her scent and mine.
She glanced up, finding me lingering in the doorway. “It felt wrong.” Her hands went between her knees, like she was trying to keep them from reaching out again.
“It looks very comfortable now.” I gestured with the tray. “May I?”
Phin’s eyes shone with pleasure that I’d asked her permission, but her expression changed in a flash. “It’s your bed,” she whispered. “I should have askedyou, not the other way around. I’m sorry?—”
“No, this is nice. I like your arrangement much more than what I had. Do whatever you need to do to make it comfortable.”
Her smile was timid, but the glow in her eyes thrilled me. “I thought you might want something to eat.”
“In your bed?”
I shrugged, setting down the tray in the middle of the nest-like configuration she’d created. I lifted the vase from between my arm and body and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” After burying her face in the bouquet, she set it on the low bedside table. As she turned back, Phin reached over her shoulder, rubbing at the muscle where her wing ways were hidden.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not really, just sore.” She shivered. “I hope whatever that was is over.”
“Me too.” I tested the temperature of her forehead with the back of my hand, relieved to find her cooler than before I’d left. “Feeling better?”
She nodded. “Yes.” Her mouth opened like she was going to say something else, but instead, she picked up a piece of cheese and turned, taking a proper look around my room. “I actually was starting to believe you didn’t have a bed or anything, that maybe the room was just empty.”
I chuffed a laugh as I poured us both some tea. “Why would you think that?”
“I never hear you come or go from this room. I’m not even sure you sleep.”
“I do. Just rarely in here. The recliner has been where I’ve sought rest for a long time.”
“I find it impossible to believe you find that chair more comfortable than this mattress,” she grumbled, shaking her head as she reached for another snack.
I sighed. “It’s not about comfort so much as convenience. If I’m in the recliner, I can hear the doors.”
“Hear them?”
