I dropped my aching head into my hands. “This was a terrible idea.”
“No it wasn’t,” Seir patted my shoulder. “Is there a way to break a sealed bond, Rylan?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never heard of one that’s more than theory, though there are always stories, usually involving a complicated ritual and someone either going mad or dying. Denying a bond is different, of course. We know what happens there.” His golden eyes flicked between me and Seir. “Would you care to explain why you’re asking? I can’t answer very well without knowing a bit more.”
I braced myself. “I’m only saying this once.” It was almost comical the way they all leaned forward to be sure they heard me properly, Seir included. “Last night we… I allowed myself to turn off my mind for a few hours, to justfeel, justbe… and the bond was sealed. Phin still hasn’t acknowledged that she even feels like such a thing exists for her. So, I need to unseal it. She needs to be given her choice back.”
“You stopped thinking?” Seir asked, quiet awe on his face.
“This, precisely. Since when are you capable of that?” Vassago asked.
Magnus smirked, his gaze empathetic. “Since her, I’m betting.”
“This was the first time.” I realized after the words left my mouth that they held a very heavy double meaning.
Seir blinked at me, clearly hearing what I’d left unsaid. “Tap. You really haven’t lived outside of this place.”
“I’ve lacked nothing.”
“That’s a blatant lie,” Vassago chuffed. “Of course you have. You are too responsible, always have been. You and Orobas have that in common, and neither of your posts should ever have encompassed all the duties they have. You should have never accepted. Lucifer was cruel to pile on like he did. We don’t even get to speak with Bas because of where he’s cloistered. I’m still awed he showed himself at Rylan’s wedding. But I’m getting off track.” He inhaled to calm himself. “I wish you would have toldsomeone you were struggling well before you were absolutely drowning. We would have helped.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” I accepted his judgment.
“You’ve been very unlike your normal self in recent days, Tap.” Rylan’s serious expression broke with a smile. “Not that I’m complaining. It suits you, actually living a little. You should absolutely continue.”
“I think you all forget how lovesick you were in his same position,” Magnus interjected. “As I recall, your brain power was something equivalent to mashed potatoes. I think that one’s still stuck there, sometimes,” he teased, pointing at Seir. Seir just grinned back.
“You are not exempt, stone man,” Vassago reminded him. “I recall you drooling into your shirt, stupefied, on several occasions.”
“I suppose that’s true enough. But everyone’s allowed weak moments.”
“Not like this,” I muttered.
Vassago shook his head. “You made amistake. Perhaps your first. Everyone’s allowed.”
“A mistake is sending a creature through the wrong portal,” I argued, thinking of what had woken me in the wee hours, venom in my tone. “Not sealing an eternal mate bond with someone whose whole life has already been largely dictated by others. Did you or did you not all give your mates a choice?”
“Alright,” Seir interrupted, gesturing widely with his arms. “Anyone have a suggestion? A useful one?”
“Tell her,” Rylan said plainly. “The longer you wait, the worse it will be.” He might have been right, but I froze inside at the very thought.
“I can speak with Greta to see if she has any ideas, but she’ll have questions,” Vassago sighed.
“You could perhaps go visit Ophelia,” Magnus suggested. “At your own peril, of course. She may have knowledge about bonds even this haughty archmage does not.” He reached over and clapped Rylan on the shoulder. Their interesting friendship had changed much for us all. “Though breaking mate bonds is one magic I’m not sure actually exists. Not without fatal consequences.”
“Greta mentioned asking her about the tincture formula for Phin but she hasn’t had a chance to get out there yet. Perhaps you both go? Get some answers all the way around. Seeing her was very informative when Greta and I visited.”
“And for us, as well,” Rylan confirmed.
I glanced at Seir. “Don’t look at me.” He shrugged. “You know how much Ophelia did for Hailon while I was in Hell, not to mention how she’s looked after Merry and helped with the wards in the glade. I’d never say a word against her, and not just because she’s terrifying. I make mistakes constantly, so honestly, I’m just glad it’s someone else this time.” Unable to help myself, I huffed a rough laugh.
“This has been incredibly demoralizing and largely unhelpful. Thank you all,” I said, words heavy with sarcasm.
“Anytime,” Rylan chuckled.
“Glad to know the mirror works. Use it as often as you need,” Vassago nodded.
“Best of luck to you,” Magnus grinned. “If you’re visiting Ophelia, take some salted licorice.”
