“No, I’m…” He paused, silver eyes meeting mine. A flare burst behind my ribs, a hot awareness that took me off guard and made me gasp. “Are you alright?”
I rubbed at the skin over where the ache was, perplexed at what might have caused it. “Fine. But I should probably avoid drinking for a while.”
He chuckled. “That’s probably not a bad idea. When was the last time you had something that strong?”
“Never.” I sifted through my memories for an answer. “I only ever drank ale, rarely even a little bit of wine.” I smiled, one memory rising to the surface. “My father had snuck a bottle of sparkling mead back with us from Heaven to serve with my cake my last birthday with them. I drank one glass and had a floaty head all night.”
“Perhaps a glass of wine now and then, so you better understand how it affects you.” He pointed at the books. “And I’m not reading, I’m trying to find a particular lettering style. It’s one of my favorites, quite beautiful. I think you’ll appreciate it. I just can’t seem to recall where I last saw it.”
The ache flared again, over and over as I drew curves and lines, swoops that led nowhere and angles that aligned with the page edge while Tap looked through books in search of that specific lettering. We simply existed together until the smell of our dinner floated in through the half-open door and he insisted we go eat before it burned.
I felt better afterward than I had all day, Ramsey’s words echoing in my head.
Chapter 18
Phin
“It’s alright if you don’t want to go with me today.” I’d practiced those words at least a dozen times since getting dressed. I had summoned up all my courage to finally voice them as I scooped several halved starberries onto my spoon.
Merry not only had sent another basket of the little golden fruits with Seir but had also promised them weekly as long as they kept producing. I was enjoying every single one while they lasted.
Tap froze, his eyes wide as he looked up from his plate of eggs and toast. “Do… do you not want me to accompany you?”
“No, no, that’s not it at all. It’s more that I worry I’m taking you away from something more important. I just need a tincture, and I’m not even sure they can help me.”
In truth, I absolutely did want Tap with me to meet even more members of his family, but Hailon would be there too, so it wasn’t like I was going into a room full of only strangers. Unless she didn’t come, of course. Anxiety crept over my skin like a hot, unwelcome blanket and I did my best to push it down.
Tap set his fork down and slid his plate forward, lacing his long, graceful fingers together as he stared right through me. “You trust us all that well?”
My breakfast sat mostly uneaten thanks to the massive storm of butterflies swirling around in my stomach. “I suppose I do. Should I not?”
“We’re plenty trustworthy, in my estimation. Naturally, I have a bit of a bias about it, though.”
“Jacks told me I could trust you, so did Ramsey. And once I got past the first couple of weeks and you continued to behave the same way you had at the start, I couldn’t help but believe you were as kind as you seemed.”
Tap’s face brightened. “I’m flattered, and very pleasantly surprised that you feel confident enough to go alone. It hasn’t been that long since you came to stay here, after all. And you were right to have hesitations then.” He shrugged and pulled his plate back in front of him, finishing off the last of his meal quickly. “It will be a lot like our visit to the glade in many ways, but with more people. Are you prepared for that?”
I swallowed. “As much as I can be, yes.”
He nodded, wiping his mouth on a napkin. “Can I be honest with you, Phin?”
“Of course.”
“I feel a bit foolish.”
I set my spoon down roughly at his admission. “Why?”
He sighed, and one corner of his mouth tilted up. His expression changes were often minute, but even a tiny bit of joy changed his normally serious demeanor. “When I was making the argument that you’d be safer here, it honestly didn’t occur to me that there were places just as protected. Not at the time, anyway.”
“Like where Seir lives?”
“Yes, and like d’Arcan. Venturing out into the city of Revalia proper will have its risks, but Rylan is a mage. Between the various talented members of my family and attendees at the school, surely there’s a token or trinket or spell that could help to disguise you.” My nose wrinkled. Tap chuckled, the sound low and raspy. “No hair colorant or oversize secondhand clothing required.”
I brightened but was hesitant to get my hopes too far up. “What exactly did you have in mind?” Tap got to his feet. I waved him off as he reached for my dishes.
“Seems only logical you’d need to do some shopping. Surely the wardrobe you brought with you could be improved upon? More items would mean you didn’t have to wash every few days.”
I barely contained my excitement at his words. Nearly everything I owned was worn to bare threads and chosen specifically to conceal my shape. The thought of some new shirts, a coat that fit properly and even a dress or skirts was almost too much for me. It had been many years since clothing was something I could choose based on my own desires and taste.
