I deactivatedall the active portals except the one that went to Aymonroux before taking Phin’s hand and leading her to my bedroom. My nerves were frayed, but her trust in me as she followed without hesitation soothed my ragged edges.
I didn’t speak as I ran my oversize tub full of hot water, stacked up clean towels, and made sure all of the necessary supplies were within reach. Phin accommodated my unspokenrequests as I lifted her leg and removed her thigh sheath, setting it far back on the counter for safety. Her little grin and hazy gaze as I slowly peeled her tunic and leggings off nearly brought me to my knees. I shed my own clothes in silence, never moving further than a few inches from her. I couldn’t stand more distance than that right now.
I willed my hands to speak for me, to communicate my adoration and concern as they traced every inch of her flesh, checking for the smallest cut or bruise, any injury or damage. I lifted her chin and turned her head, anger flaring at the faint marks left around her neck.
“My collar,” she whispered. “He pulled it. Doesn’t hurt.”
I picked up one arm at a time and examined them like they were art pieces, memorizing a tally of small wounds as the rage built in my veins. To soothe the hot emotion, my mouth followed everywhere I touched, her skin warm and soft under my lips as I gently kissed her jaw, her shoulder, her hip, her stomach, her thigh.
By the time I finally wrapped my arms around her and kissed her properly, she looked as dizzy from the attention as I felt, and I held her tight to keep her from sliding bonelessly to the floor.
“Come on, Feather. Let’s get you clean and into bed. It’s been far too busy of a day for my liking,” I muttered, voice rough.
She slid into the water first, and I climbed in behind her. We soaked for several minutes, her back to my front, my legs surrounding hers. My knees were sticking out of the water despite the oversize basin, though it was clear up to Phin’s chin. She rested her head back against my shoulder and I dragged my fingertips along her limbs, loving the way she melted against me.
When the water started to cool, I washed her hair, then her body, then, against better judgment, I allowed her the comfort of doing the same for me. The simple acts were grounding. I was painfully alive under the scrape of her fingernails against mychest, holding on by mere threads when I gripped the edge of the tub while she straddled and faced me to scrub the shampoo into my hair, her perfect breasts right at eye level. I reveled in the defeat I felt when my restraint snapped and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into me and making water splash out of the tub. I did not trust my tongue to make the right words, so the only sounds between us were squeaks and rumbles, groans and sighs. I worried that somehow, that might be worse.
When I could stand it no more, I scooped her up out of the water, drying us both quickly with the plush towels before marching her back into my room to the bed.
I lay on my side, head propped up on one hand as she arranged the pillows and blankets to her liking. When she finally lay down against me, my arms reflexively came around her, pulling her as close as I could get her. I listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing as she wound her limbs around me. The bond in my chest was quiet, but my heart throbbed happily.
Everything in me calmed. After years of restlessness, existing solely for the gates, she was my place to recharge.
The slow graze of my fingertips against her skin became more insistent, and she looked up to find me watching her, a thousand fantasies dancing behind my eyes. When she shifted up to kiss me, I exhaled like I’d been holding my breath for years. All the tension left me, all the stress. Nothing else mattered.
There in the dark, I showed her what her future held as mine. We rocked together, breaths heavy and senses heightened. I understood what it was to be cherished and cared for, gently loved and wholly satisfied. I could only hope she felt the same.
And as it turned out, we didn’t need words to reconnect after what we’d been through. We only needed one another.
Chapter 41
Phin
The next several days passed in an odd mix of settling into our routine and wondering if something else was coming to disturb our peace.
The trial run of Hell sharing in the burden of watching the portals had been a resounding success, especially considering it was basically trial by fire with the eclipse. Seir, Coltor, and Tap spent time every day discussing logistics for converting that to a permanent situation while simultaneously trying to figure out how to find any other hidden doorways like the one that led to Purgatory, not to mention a way to re-route the path back to Purgatory itself.
Ramsey and my parents still hadn’t returned, but they’d used one of Vassago’s scrying mirrors to let me know they were safe and things were being dealt with. Based on my father’s very pensive expression, things were not great on the celestial plane, but I had no doubt he would do everything he could to make them better.
Greta had stopped by with a new vial of tincture for me, one that only had to be taken at the first sign of my cycle starting. It wouldn’t suppress my wings, or my Voice, but it wouldn’t harm me like the last one. She’d tucked it safely into my hand andthen squeezed me tight, apologizing that it had taken so long. I hugged her back and tried to assure her that I was just grateful to have it.
With the help of my newfound talent, I’d made it through all the deals on and around the table and was beginning to work through the first set of shelves so I could better clean up the rest of the floor. Unfortunately, that required me to shift some of those documents from their stacks and piles… to the table. It was a work in progress, but I loved seeing the way everything was becoming more orderly day after day. I had lots of ideas for an improved method of maintaining new deals going forward, but that wasn’t part of the project.
To my relief and joy, Tap had actually started to make a little bit of time for leisure activities since our return. He’d resumed work on the family portrait but asked me to keep that quiet, especially from Seir, but it apparently had become a running joke between all of his brothers that it was something he’d been attempting to complete for a very long time. He’d also started on some new woodwork, but I hadn’t seen what it was yet as I’d been occupied with drawing.
“Feather, would you come with me somewhere?” he asked as I wandered a row of portals with him, a plate full of cookies I’d baked from a recipe Grace shared still in my hands.
“I don’t see why not. Where?”
“Hell.”
I stopped walking. “Am I… allowed to go there?”
“Of course. You’re part demon.”
“It’s the angel part I think might be a problem. Especially since I happen to look like one.”
He shrugged, that ridiculously disarming grin on his mouth. “You were allowed into Heaven even as part demon, if you recall. Besides, you’ll be with me. I tend to agree with your father on this—if my mate is not welcome anywhere I need to go, thenthat’s their problem, not mine. And they’ll have to deal with me personally about it.” His smile widened as he saw how those words had affected me, and he dipped to give me a quick kiss before taking a cookie from the plate.
