“Come on, Finley,” Cee chimes in, her dry tone making my skin crawl with unease. “No good mother would be comfortable raising their baby in a house where people are coming and going all the time. I doubt you want a bunch of strangers around, and you can’texpect us to change our lifestyles just because you went out and got knocked up. It’s better if you just find somewhere better suited for a newborn.”
I feel the tips of my ears begin to heat, my stomach roiling at her words. It seems as though they’ve already made their decision, and to make things worse, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
When I moved in, they were already in the middle of a lease agreement. They told the landlord I was here temporarily to avoid him raising the rent or asking for an additional security deposit. It all seemed harmless at the time because I’m only here to sleep, shower, and very occasionally bed rot. I don’t use the gym or other amenities, and I don’t take up a parking space, so I agreed to keep things quiet until it was time to re-sign. Then, my name would be added, and I would be responsible for any additional fees. Now, I realize how stupid that was, because they’re well within their rights to kick me out.
“How long do I have?” I ask, defeated. “Can I at least have a couple of weeks to find a new place?” Tears prick at the backs of my eyes, my hand instinctively lifting to my belly as though I could shield the baby from all the uncertainty we’re about to face. I’m not off to a very good start as a mom, seeing as how there’s a good chance we won’t have anywhere to live soon.
“Our new roommate is actually the girl Blaine hired to replace you. She’s from Columbus, and she’s rented a hotel room until Tuesday, so we need you out by then. Sorry.” Phoebe almost sounds remorseful, not that itsoftens the blow. I have to find a new place, pack all my belongings, and move out in the next six days.
“Fine,” I mutter, no longer hungry. I know I should eat, but how can I when my life is such a dumpster fire? Standing, I walk to the trash and toss my muffin, then dump my coffee down the sink before placing the mug into the dishwasher. I don’t say a word or look at either of them as I exit the kitchen, holding my emotions at bay until I’m safely tucked away in my room. Only then do I break down.
Tears stream down my cheeks, and I collapse onto the mattress, silently sobbing for the future my baby deserves, but will likely never experience—two parents who love and respect one another, even though they aren’t in a relationship. A stable home that provides them with a sense of happiness and safety. Knowing where they came from and how loved they are.
“Mommy’s sorry, peanut,” I whisper, rubbing soft circles over my growing bump. “I’m going to fix this, I promise.”
I have no idea how, but I’ll die trying.
SIX
THEO
“Hell of a grab, Stedman!”I shout to my backup as he runs to the sideline, the ball he just picked off still clutched in his grasp. It’s the second week of the preseason, and while I’m itching to play, it’s good to know that our second-string guys are getting some reps in. Coach Hendricks is planning on giving the starters a chance to play part of the first quarter next week, so I’ll be ready when that happens.
“Thanks, bro!” he replies, an ear-to-ear grin splitting his face. He’s a rookie, and that was his first professional interception, which is a pretty big deal. It may only be the preseason, but new guys like him are playing for a spot on the final fifty-three-man roster. It seems like just yesterday that I was in his shoes, the pride of my first pick making me feel like I was on top of the fucking world.
“Here,” I say, swiping the ball from his hand. “I’ll take this to the equipment manager. He’ll keep it safe, and you can grab it after the game. A little trophy foryour shelf.” I still have mine in my office, a reminder of how hard I worked to get where I am, and to never take it for granted.
He gives me a grateful nod, and I walk behind the benches, handing the ball off to someone from the equipment team before returning to the sideline just as the offense takes the field. We’re trailing by a touchdown, but his pick at the San Diego twenty-five-yard line puts us in a good spot to score. Our guys played their hearts out today, so I’m hoping they can pull off a win. They definitely deserve it.
Being the very first members of a brand-new expansion team comes with a lot of responsibility. We play for the city of Cleveland, and all the fans who show up for us week in and week out, supporting us as we try to build something that they can be proud of. Unlike the other teams in the league, we started last year with a clean slate. Where they’ve had years to draft and trade, filling holes in their roster with the right pieces, we’re working with players that were expendable to their previous organizations.
I’m not saying we suck, because we don’t. But every man on the Renegades’ roster, except for those who were drafted out of college this past April, knows what it feels like to be given up on. For some of us, like me, we were nothing more than a payday. I did my job with my previous team, but they saw an opportunity to free up some of their salary cap, and they took it. They were absolved of most of my ten-million-dollar contract, and I was on my way to Cleveland.
You’d think that, with such uncertainty, I’d becautious about setting down roots. And that was the plan, initially. But it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with this team, the city, and the people in it. I was a Renegade for just over two months before I called a realtor and asked them to help me find the home of my dreams. I’ll admit it was crazy and impulsive, but that tiny little voice in the back of my head was saying that this is exactly where I belong…and I never ignore my instincts.
Six short weeks later, I was signing papers and picking up the keys to my house. It’s been a bit of a nightmare with all the repairs I’ve had to do, but that’s all part of being an adult. I like to think of it as me getting everything out of the way, so that when I meet the right girl, and we decide to start a family, we have the perfect place to do it.
My mind wanders to the way Finley looked yesterday morning when she showed up on my doorstep. She was beautiful, just like she always is, but it was clear that something was up. There was exhaustion behind her gorgeous green eyes, and maybe a hint of sadness. I was tempted to ask her if Eric had something to do with it, but I know I don’t have the right to pry into her personal life like that. Plus, if she had said yes, I doubt I’d have been able to get onto the team plane.
Thankfully, Boner instantly caught on to her somber mood, covering her in kisses and cuddling up with his head in her lap as soon as she plopped down on the couch. Seeing the two of them together made it easier toleave, but it’s still been nagging at my conscience. I’m hoping that someday, she’ll feel comfortable opening up to me, but I understand that we’re essentially still strangers. I’m ready and willing to earn her trust, at whatever pace she wants to give it.
I snap back to the present just as our second-string quarterback throws an absolute dime, the ball hitting his receiver right in the numbers. The crowd is on their feet, screaming at the top of their lungs for the defense. Everyone on our sideline is going wild, nearly drowning out the opposing fans as he breaks the plane, scoring an easy touchdown.
Coach is known for hisgo big or go homementality, so I’m not surprised in the least when he keeps the offense on the field for a two-point conversion. There’s less than two minutes left on the clock, and he doesn’t want to go into overtime. It’s half bat-shit crazy, and half strategic for a few different reasons, mainly because the less time our guys spend on the field, the better our chances are of leaving without any major injuries. After we lost our veteran quarterback, Austin Baker, at the beginning of last season, we aren’t taking any chances. Luckily, his backup, Maddox Dane, stepped in and got the job done, leading us to the playoffs in our first year. The sky’s the limit for the future of the Renegades, and I’m pumped to be a part of it.
Less than half an hour later, I’m in the locker room as thoughts of Finley move from the back of my mind to the forefront. The rest of the team is celebrating our hard-earned victory, but I’m distracted as I pack mybag, finally deciding that I’ll feel better after checking in. I open my text app, pulling up her contact info.
ME:
Hey! How’s my guy doing?
FINLEY:
He’s great. He ate all his food, then we went out back and played ball for a while. We’re back inside now, being couch potatoes.
ME:
Good. How about you? Did you sleep ok? If not, we can get a new mattress for the guest room. That one is kind of firm.
