“Alright,” she says with a soft smile. “I’ll let you rot for a little while longer, but don’t be mad at me in thirty minutes when I bring you the chicken tenders he’s having delivered for your dinner. I think taking care of you in this way is keeping him going right now. He needs it.”
She leaves the room, closing the door behind her with a quietsnick. I lie back down on my side, shove a pillow under my belly, and readjust it several times before I decide that I’m as comfortable as I’m going to get. My eyes wander around the room, landing on the glass that sits just a couple of feet from the bed. Oddly, it’s a comfort to know that it was brought at his request, and it makes me feel like we’re not so far apart.
I pull out my phone, scrolling through our message thread. He sent a few right after I left, saying that he loved me and that he would support me however he could. I replied, telling him that I just needed time to sort out my emotions on my own. Since then, I haven’theard from him, but I guess that’s what I asked for. I asked for space, and he’s giving me just that.
I want to text him. To thank him for being there, and for caring the way he does. But I think better of it, closing out the app because he deserves better than some hot-and-cold situation with the woman who left after he begged her not to.
He deserveseverything, and if I don’t figure my shit out, I’m going to be forced to watch him get it from someone else.
THIRTY-FIVE
THEO
Knock.Knock. Knock.
Bark. Bark. Bark.
A heavy fist pounds against the door as Boner goes nuts, and even though I can narrow down the culprit to one of about six people, I pull up the security app on my phone. Sure enough, it’s the guys, freezing their asses off on my front porch. I assume they’re here because I declined their offer to hang out after practice, just like I have every night this week. They’re about to be sorely disappointed if they think they’re getting a different answer now, because I’m not leaving this couch until we head to Charlotte tomorrow night for the Divisional playoff game.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Bark. Bark. Bark.
“Boner. Relax.” It’s not even loud enough for him to hear, but I don’t care. I’ve got a pounding headache from the noise, and I used the last of my motivation on today’s pre-game run-through.
I watch on the small screen as Maddox hammers away, hoping that they’ll leave, but they don’t. Instead, Austin reaches out, pressing the doorbell, even though that hasn’t been successful for them yet, either.
“I know you can hear us, Calloway,” Emmett says into the camera. “We’re not going anywhere, so you may as well open up.”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Bark. Bark. Bark.
“For fuck’s sake,” I growl, standing to my feet and walking toward the entryway. Boner is still losing his mind, running back and forth across the hardwood floor like a madman as I swing the door open.
“Can I help you?” I ask, my gaze bouncing from one guy to the other in question.
“Sure can,” Jett says, pushing his way past me with Maddox, Emmett, and Austin hot on his heels. The dog jumps up, his paw making direct contact with Maddox’s nutsack as a sharp exhale blasts from his lungs.
“Jesus Christ!” he cries, coughing as he doubles over in pain. I should reprimand my dude for acting so wild, but honestly, this is the closest I’ve come to smiling since Finley left. I’m pretty sure she took his manners with her when she did, because he’s been terrorizing the place ever since. As if the constant barking, tipping of bowls, and shredding every one of his toys wasn’t enough, now we can add cup-checking my quarterback to his list of offenses.
“Anyway,” Jett continues as if his friend isn’t hacking up a nut right in front of him. “We know you’resad, but it’s team bonding night, and we won’t take no for an answer. No crazy stuff—just us guys grabbing a couple drinks at a venue of your choosing. Then you can come back here and do”—he looks around at my messy house—“whatever it is that you’ve been doing for the last five days.”
I chew the inside of my cheek, one hand coming up to massage the back of my neck. “We haven’t been to a bar or club in months. Why, all of a sudden, do you want to go now?”
After Finley was fired, the group collectively decided not to continue frequenting Club Tilt, opting to have our bonding nights at home instead. So, they’re obviously up to something if they’re changing that now.
“Because,” Austin begins, “you’ve been sulking all week long, and according to the guys, you’re a ball of nerves on the field. You’re slow, you’re missing easy tackles, and people are afraid to say anything because they don’t want to set you off.” He leans in, his eyes flickering with understanding. “I know it hurts, man, but give yourself a break.”
He’s right. I’m not giving it one hundred percent, and we’re two days away from what is—so far—the biggest game we’ve played together. I’m on autopilot at practice, immediately returning home, where everything reminds me of them. I’ve probably worn a path in the upstairs carpet that would give me away, since it’s a giant circle from the guest room to my room to the nursery, where I’ve spent the past two nights, unable to sleep as I rocked in the glider. I didn’t even know it waspossible to miss someone you’ve never met, yet there’s an aching emptiness in my heart whenever I’m inside those pale pink walls.
“Yeah,” I relent. “Okay. Just, uhhhh…let me take a shower and get dressed.” As much as I don’t have the energy to do anything, maybe a couple of hours away will help me reset so I can focus on my job. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to sleep when I get home, then it’ll be time to head to the Renegades’ facility and catch our bus to the airport. We play the Cyclones on Sunday afternoon, and if we win, it’s onto the conference championship. We’ve come too far to give up now. So, I need to show up for my guys, even though my personal life is a mess.
“Do you think you should slow down?” Austin says quietly as I throw back another shot, the amber liquor burning as it slides down my throat. My head is just fuzzy enough not to give a fuck about the pain I’ve been going through, and this is exactly where I want to be.
“Nope,” I answer, popping thep. “I feelfantastic, actually. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll try something different. An oldie, but goodie.” He exhales heavily as I raise my hand, summoning our server. She smiles, pushing her tits forward as she saunters our way, her dark eyes locked on me until she’s close enough for us to hear her.
“Hey, there, sweetheart,” she purrs, leaning forward with a palm flattened against the table. “What can I get you?” She tilts her head, pulling her lower lip between her teeth in what I’m assuming is an attempt to look flirty, but that’s the last fucking thing I want tonight. I’m here to forget, and I’m on my way to doing just that.
