I push my lip into a pout. “That’s so sad. Do you have to close the hot tub, too?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. I use it all year, especially later in the season when everything hurts. It definitely helps keep my muscles loose.”
I huff a whimsical sigh, my hand settling on my stomach. “I’m jealous. I’d give anything to soak in there right now. I bet it’s heavenly.”
The corner of his mouth tugs up, one dimple sinking in and making my heart flutter erratically. I try not to stare, but he’s so fucking cute that it’s an actual struggle to look away sometimes. “I promise you, Mama, after the baby is born and your doctor says it’s okay, you’ll have your own personal cabana boy. You can stay out here until you’re a shriveled pile of mush, and I’ll keep the snacks and drinks coming.”
I smile, although it doesn’t reach my eyes. I want to believe him, but I’m starting to think he doesn’t understand the full weight of how my life is about to change. Cecelia and Phoebe did, which is why they asked me to pack my shit and leave. Even though I know Theo is nothing like them, he’s still a twenty-six-year-old bachelor who lives a very high-profile lifestyle. He won’t want his roommate and her kid getting in the way of his future plans—whatever those are—and I need to be prepared.
“Do you want kids someday?” I blurt. It really isn’t my business, but I can’t stop myself from wondering where he sees himself years from now. He’s got this big, beautiful house with a pool in the backyard, a stable career, and so much to offer. He must have dreams of a family—otherwise, none of this makes sense.
“Yeah,” he says, his entire aura brightening. His ocean eyes sparkle, an ear-to-ear grin blooming across his face. “My niece and nephew are so fucking cool. I swear, when I visit family in Georgia, I hang out with them more than anyone else. My sister will tell you it’s because we have the same IQ, but I’ve just always wanted lots of little ones running around.” He shrugs, lifting his gaze to mine. “I want to be a husband and father more than anything in the world.”
I can’t stop the hollow pang of envy that settles in my stomach as he speaks. I feel like I’ve failed my daughter already by not giving her a dad like Theo, even though none of this was planned. One day, she’ll begin to wonder why she only has a mom, blaming herself for it the same way I did. I hope I can find the words when that day comes, so she knows how worthy of love she is.
“You’ll be really good at it,” I praise, keeping my eyes glued on the pool so he doesn’t see the pain and longing behind them. “I bet you had the best role models growing up, huh?”
“I did,” he replies, his expression going somber. “My parents always wanted a big family. After Tatum was born, they knew they weren’t done, but they also weren’t in a rush—until one day, their entire world wasflipped upside down.” He takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly as he continues.
“My dad was going away for work, so my mom decided to pack up all of Tatum’s stuff and drive to Florida for a visit with my grandparents. Some idiot had just left the bar after way too many and hit them head-on. Tate was barely in pre-school and had to suffer through the pain of a spinal cord injury, while my mom was rushed in for an emergency hysterectomy. She was devastated when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to have more children—until one of her friends hooked her up with a local adoption agency. Shortly after, I was born, and the rest is history. They’re the best people I know,” he says with a grin. “Even Tatum’s smart ass.”
My brows furrow, confusion washing over me as I put the puzzle pieces together. “You’re adopted?” I’m sure I look like a deer in headlights, but I definitely wasn’t expecting any of this.
“Sure am,” he replies proudly. “From what I know, my birth mother wasn’t ready for a baby, so she made the decision to give me up when I was three days old. I like to think she hand-picked my parents because she knew I was meant to be a Calloway, and that I’d have the best possible life with them.”
Sorrow claws at my throat. Theo talks about his family all the time. I just assumed from all the silly, happy stories that they were strangers to adversity, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Not only have they faced scary, unfortunate situations, but they stuck together and never lost track of what was important—each other. It’s no surprise that he’s such a loving,selfless person, since that’s exactly what he’s been shown since the day he was born.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I say, swallowing thickly. I have an overwhelming urge to let him all the way in, but it’s hard. Especially since my upbringing is nothing like his. I didn’t have the warmth and safety of a steady home or parents who went out of their way to make me feel cared for. I had a dad who left, and a mother who was never around, too busy with her own life to be there for me. I want him to know who I am, though…and why it’s so important that I raise my daughter differently.
“My dad left when I was a baby.” It’s barely a whisper, just loud enough to be heard over the hum of the pool filter. His posture goes rigid in response, but he doesn’t say a word, letting me continue while the backs of my eyes prick with emotion.
“I think my mom meant well, but she was always trying to replace him, going on dates and bringing someone new home every other weekend. Most of them bolted as soon as they realized she had a kid, but some stuck around. There was even one…” I can’t stop the sad smile that pulls at my lips as I reminisce. “His name was Vince, and I wanted so badly to have him as my dad. He’d play outside and help me with homework. He even taught me to ride a bike. It was the most perfect few months of my life. Then one day, I came home from school, and he was gone.
“I was so young—so innocent—but I think that’s when I started to see myself as unworthy of happiness. I felt like I wasn’t enough, and that’s far too muchweight for a little girl to bear. That’s why I decided to do this on my own,” I say, absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles over my bump. I lower my chin, locking onto the motion, tears blurring my vision before falling onto the soft fabric of my shirt. “She doesn’t need to know that her father didn’t choose her. I’ll be there, and I’ll love her so much that she’ll never question her worth.”
“Come here, Mama,” he murmurs, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around him, melting into his chest as he comforts me. His heart beats against my ear, a steady reminder that he’s real, and that I’m not alone.
He holds me for several minutes, allowing me to soak in his warmth until everything seems less heavy, and I’m able to take a deep breath without feeling like my lungs are being crushed. The anxiety that had me spiraling just moments ago fades away as I look up, my glassy gaze finding his.
“You okay?” he asks softly, lifting his hands to cup my tear-stained cheeks. I don’t even try to stop my eyes from fluttering closed as I nod, inhaling his clean scent and letting it tether me to the present. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with him, knowing that I’m not being judged for the things that have happened in my past.
“I’m sorry,” I say sheepishly. “It’s not pretty, but it’s who I am.”
He shakes his head slowly. “There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about. I hate that you had such a rough start, but it made you the strong, determined, independent woman you are today. But you’re donedoing shit on your own. I’m here now, and I’m more than happy to tell you how worthy you are whenever you forget.”
“Thank you, Theo,” I reply quietly, grateful beyond measure for this man and all the light he’s brought into my life.
THIRTEEN
THEO
“Where the helldo you find such ridiculous pajamas in your size?” Finley asks, plucking the material of my dinosaur pants as we sit on the couch. “You look like a giant toddler.”
My mouth drops open, brows pulling together as though I’m highly offended. “I’ll have you know,Judgmental Judy, that these are myluckydinosaur jammies. I wore them when we won the National Championship at UGA, then again when the Renegades made it to the playoffs. I’m not saying they’re magic, but I’m notnotsaying that, either.”
“You’re weird,” she says, an adorable smile breaking free as she tosses a piece of popcorn in my direction. I dodge it, darting my hand out and poking her side, earning a cute little giggle before I turn back to the TV in front of us.
We had our fourth game of the season yesterday in San Francisco, and since the last few weeks have been incredibly busy for me, we agreed to spend my night offwatching a movie. It’s become our favorite thing to do when I’m home—something I look forward to, even though she gives me shit for my super awesome loungewear every time. I secretly love it, though, because our banter always comes with subtle touches and flirting.
