by Francis Grande — reporter, pie judge, and honorary president of the “ChitChat&Chardonnay” club (as well as proud member of the Elm Hollow Marching Band)
ELM HOLLOW – Panic and wildly excessive curiosity among residents after a mysterious hooded figure was spotted lurking near Main Street.
According to reliable sources—namely Aunt Tina (@ZiaTinaTok) and Pedro (talking Indian myna, Elm Hollow mascot and loyal friend to Mayor Nino)—the man was dressed in dark clothing, walked in asuspiciously athletic manner, and appeared to be “definitely tall and muscular.”
Pedro reportedly squawked, “A HUNK.”
Head of law enforcement Nash Brooks stated that “there is nothing to be worried about” and encouraged all citizens to “remain calm, but keep an eye out.”
Some claim this is a pre-Halloween prank, others a nocturnal visitor snooping for confidential intel about our historic Elm Hollow Fall Bucket List Competition.
In any case, our small community is encouraged to remain calm and avoid spreading panic—unless it’s festive panic.
We would also like to remind readers that Elm Hollow remains a peaceful, welcoming town: if you see the hooded man, offer him a muffin and ask how he’s doing, where he’s from, what he’s doing here, and his personal rating of holiday cheer for all major festivities.
“It’s genius,” Ivy laughs. “Every year theGazettefinds a way to make small-town life dramatic. But I swear this time it seems real. They saw him near Main Street last night. And Aunt Tina went live on TikTok.”
Cam looks less amused and more… wary. I’ve already seen him go into protective mode around Ivy. It’s ridiculously adorable.
I stare at the blurry photo printed in the paper.
A shadow, just the faint outline of a profile, a dark hood.
And my stomach tightens.
Because that walk… that posture…
Damn it.
It’s him.
“Sloane?” Ivy studies me, eyebrows raised. “You’re making your ‘I’m about to have an aneurysm’ face.”
“What? No. I’m just…”
Cam frowns. “You scared of the mystery hooded guy?”
“No!” I answer way too fast.
I glance around to make sure no one’s too close to the counter, then lean in and lower my voice.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. But you can’t repeat this toanyone, got it?”
Ivy’s eyes go huge. “Oh my God, youknowhim?”
“He’s… my new client,” I whisper. “It’s top secret. You can’t talk about it. Not even to your shadow.”
Cam lifts a brow. “Hold up. The dude in the hood creeping out little old ladies is your client?”
“He’s not creeping anyone out! He’s just… private.”
Ivy’s expression turns worried but gentle. “And what about you? Are you sure he’s not dangerous?”
I sigh, propping my chin on my hand.
“Of course I’m sure. He’s harmless in that sense. He’s exhausting, arrogant, and officially added to the list of my mortal enemies. But…”
“But?” Ivy prompts.
