I grip the armrests so hard my knuckles go white.
Look at her one more time, asshole, and I’ll make you swallow that heart monitor.
The challenge begins.
The first couples are a comedic disaster. Chad (the fit-fluencer) looks more turned on by his own reflection on the screen than by his girlfriend.
Roxanne insults Dave until he goes into tachycardia from pure rage (valid strategy, but risky).
Then it’s Lucy and Lars.
Lars is red-faced—embarrassed or turned on. Or both.
Lucy steps up to him. She doesn’t dance. She doesn’t strip.
She cups his face in her hands, gently. She leans in and whispers something in his ear, brushing her fingers through his thick beard with a tenderness that silences the entire room.
On the monitor, Lars’s heart rate explodes.
145.
It’s pure, simple adoration.
“They’re good,” I murmur to Sloane.
She doesn’t answer. She’s staring at the floor, laser-focused—like a boxer before the final round.
“Couple Eight!” Tina announces.
Joe and Sarah.
Sarah launches herself into it immediately. She rubs against him, shakes her ass, runs her hands over her chest with theatrical enthusiasm.
Joe watches the monitor, smug, like he’s checking his Instagram likes… which I’m sure is his favorite hobby.
His pulse definitely spikes—he’s male, and she’s practically flashing her nipples with how revealing that dress is—but it’s automatic. Mechanical.
I’m also positive the cameras just captured the show’s first borderline-nude moment. Production will be thrilled.
They land at 130.
Sarah celebrates like she just won an Oscar, planting a loud, smacking kiss on Joe.
She hasn’t even realized it isn’t the highest score so far.
He gives her a slap on the ass, but his eyes... his eyes immediately dart back to Sloane.
He wants to see if she watched.
He wants to see if she’s jealous.
I feel Sloane go rigid beside me.
I turn toward her.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
She lifts her gaze. She’s furious. She’s stunning. She’s the Queen of Hearts about to take someone’s head off.
