But I can’t do it.
I just… can’t.
I drop the lid with a heavy clunk and set the bag on the counter instead. I brace myself against the counter and let out a long frustrated sigh.
Behind me, Mack steps into the doorway.
“You okay?” he asks gently.
I laugh. Loud, bitter, and ugly.
“Yeah,” I say, turning toward the fridge just to have something to do with my hands. “I’m fucking fine.”
My voice cracks on the last word, just a little.
“You should talk to him,” Mack says, like he’s been chewing the words over for a while.
I don’t answer. I don’t fucking blink. I can rationally say that the way I’m acting doesn’t make sense. That I’m taking this entire thing out on Jacob when really I could fix it by just speaking to him. Even if we ended whatever we were doing, it would be closure.
But also, I feel like punishing someone. I feel like making someone else feel as shitty as I do and….well, that someone is Jacob.
“End it. Or forgive him. But dragging this shit out?” he keeps going, not even looking at me now. “That’s fucked, man. It’s not fair to either of you.”
That hits me sideways. My teeth clench.
“Thanks for the moral clarity, Mack,” I mutter, sharp. “Didn’t realize you were applying to be my conscience.”
He sighs, and it sounds tired, like he’s already been through this argument in his head a dozen times. “I’m not trying to be anything, Griff. Iamyour friend.”
“Really?” I snap, voice rising. “’Cause right now you sound like his. Not mine.”
He finally looks at me then with an expression full of so much fucking resentment that I almost flinch. “Iamyour friend, asshole. That’s why I’m saying this. Because I’ve watched you tear yourself the fuck up for days, and I’m sick of pretending it’s all Jacob’s fault when he’s not the one who cheated.”
That hits like a sucker punch. I laugh, sharp and humorless. “No. He’s just a fucking liar.”
Mack doesn’t flinch or argue. He just shakes his head and frowns at me. The disappointment is so fucking clear and I can’t make myself give a single shit.
I don’t wait for him to say anything else. I shove off the wall and storm past him, up the stairs two at a time.
“Don’t wait up,” I throw over my shoulder, not caring how much of a cliché it sounds like.
30
Jacob
There aremoments in life where you realize something bad is going to happen. You wake up and feel this god awful sense of dread creeping down your spine.
Or maybe that’s just me. But either way, I have realized I am rarely wrong when that feeling comes up.
So when I got the email from the Athletic Director requesting an impromptu meeting as soon as possible, I knew it was going to be bad.
There’s no other reason for the random meeting to occur.
The door closes behind me, and the moment I sit down in front of those three faces…Coach, the Athletic Director, and my advisor. I know I should’ve worn something sturdier than sweats, because what comes next is going to require at least emotional armor.
The AD clears his throat and starts. “Jacob, we want to talk with you about your current assignment.”
Coach offers an encouraging smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You know we think highly of your work here.”
