Which issonot helpful right now. I mean, I came here to talk.
TALK. That’s all.
Like a responsible human being. Not throw him against a wall and lick the inside of his mouth like a feral animal with no shame.
But now he’s looking at me, flushed and breathing fast and fuck me, evenmorebeautiful than I remember. And I swear to God, the elevator doors can’t open fast enough.
So when the ding sounds and the doors part, we don’t even speak. We just move.
I follow him down the hallway, so goddamn aware of the heat radiating off his skin like it’s calling me back in. My hands curl into fists because if they don’t, I’ll reach out and grab his hip or lace our fingers together or some equally deranged shit.
We get to his door and he swipes the card. I’m so keyed up I nearly offer to carry him over the threshold, wedding-style, which…again, unhelpful.
He opens it and steps inside with me following without question.
The door closes behind me with a soft click, and the silence that follows is deafening.
I exhale, slow and hard, running a hand through my hair like that’ll do anything to cool the fire under my skin.
“We should talk,” I say, even though what I really want to do is pin him against the bed and kiss him until my lips forget what air tastes like.
Jacob nods once, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
"I don’t know how to do this,” I say slowly, my voice low.
Jacob’s watching me with those big, impossibly patient eyes, nodding but then he asks, “Do what, exactly?”
I let out a sigh and drag a hand over my face, tugging at my hair for a second like it’ll help untangle the mess in my chest. “I just... this is all new. All of it. I don’t really know what I’m doing here, with this... with you.”
He nods again, slower this time, like he's processing it. And then he says, “And you have a girlfriend.”
That hits me like a slap to the face and I jerk back instinctively, heart kicking up because fuck, no.
“No, I don’t,” I say quickly, and Jacob’s mouth parts in surprise, a little breath leaving him like maybe I just knocked the wind out of him too.
“You don’t?” he asks, and I swear to God, it sounds like relief. It makes something crack open in my chest.
I shake my head. “No. I told her... about the kiss. At the party. We broke up.”
His expression shifts and then he asks, quieter, “You told her? About me?”
I wince, because this part is complicated. “Yes, I mean no. Kind of? I told her I kissed someone, but I didn’t say who. Just that it happened. She lost her shit and we were done after that.”
He nods slowly, still chewing on that.
And then he steps forward, right into my space, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off his chest, and he says, “So... what does this mean?”
I rub the back of my neck like I’m trying to physically untangle the nerves knotted up in there, and when I finally meet his eyes again, I say it in the most honest, awkward way I can muster. “I don’t know yet… like, I really don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out in my own head.”
He watches me like he actually wants to hear what comes next. He’s so fucking patient and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that before. Someone who isn’t pushy or demanding, but instead, just there for me while I figure shit out.
“I mean,” I continue, “I want to spend time with you. I want that. I want to be around you. I want to hang out, talk, whatever…without awkwardness or pressure or pretending last night didn’t happen.”
At that, Jacob’s face shifts but then, in the same breath, he smiles. It’s an effortless smile that is so fucking beautiful my breath catches. And with a hint of that teasing spark he’s good at, he says, “So... you want to quench that curiosity?”
I blink at him, because holy shit, that’s a sentence I was not prepared for, and my brain immediately churns while my stomach drops because I can see how he interpreted it and I absolutely do not mean it that way.
“No,” I say immediately. “No, I mean, not likethat.I’m not talking about curiosity experiments or some casual bullshit. I actually want to know you. Like your brain, the things that make you snort when you laugh, the things that make you roll your eyes at people…that. I want to be aroundyou,not some fucking curiosity project. I’m not..using you.”
