I can feel Hudson watching me now, but I don’t look away from Mr. Daniels. He needs to see that I mean every damn word.
The silence stretches, thick and suffocating.
“Does Hadley know?” Mr. Daniels asks gruffly.
Not what I expected, but I roll with it.
“No.”
“Make sure she doesn’t.”
Then he gets up and leaves the room.
Twenty-Nine
Hudson
“Love, why don’t you pack a few things and stay with Cullen a couple of days, if that’s fine with y’all?” Mom asks Mrs. Eliza.
“Of course it’s alright. Hudson, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
Mom stands and pulls me into her arms. I’m numb. My dad went from being supportive to gutting me with a blunt knife in a few sentences. What he really thinks about me, about my illness, is out in the open now. I’m a problem. A burden to bear.
Like I’ve always feared.
What if he’s right? What if Cullen gets tired of the emotional whiplash? It’s not fair to him to babysit me when I can’t function. We’re only eighteen. He deserves to live, not just manage me.
“I’ll talk to him. He’s scared, love.” She cups my face like I’m still her little boy. “It has nothing to do with you and Cullen being together, alright? He just wants to protect you from the hard things in life, but he forgets you can’t grow without growing pains.” She smiles. “I’m happy for you two. I see the way Cullen looks at you. It reminds me of your dad.”
The sentiment should warm something in me, but it doesn’t. I’m already folding in on myself. Everything Dad said is playing on a loop in my head, louder than anything else.
She kisses my cheek and goes to find him to talk, but it won’t matter. The damage is done. My brain has latched onto his words like a leech, draining me dry.
“Hudson, why don’t you grab a few things and come on over?” Mrs. Eliza rubs a soothing circle on my back, snapping me back to the present.
I nod and smile, but it’s tight—forced.
I don’t acknowledge Cullen as I leave the room, afraid if I do, something ugly might come out. Something I don’t mean.
My brain agrees with my dad, but my heart tells me I’d be a fool to let Cullen go.
My heart is selfish.
But I may need to break my own heart just to give Cull a better future.
“Baby?”
I turn. Cullen leans against my bedroom door frame, arms crossed over his chest, looking… perfect. My heart thumps hard.
I don’t want to lose him, but I want him to have so much more.
“You okay?” he asks, walking over to wrap his arms around me. I press my forehead to his shoulder and breathe him in. Today he smells like evergreen and safety.
“No.” No point in lying. He knows how close I am to my dad, and how deep that blade cut.
Muffled yelling echoes from down the hall. My parents argue, but I’ve never heard them raise their voices like this.
Another thing to feel guilty about. I caused this.
