“I’m so sorry, Cull,” he rushes out, standing up and reaching for me. “I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you.”
I hold a hand up, stopping him. I’m still trying to process what he just said. And somewhere in the swirl of shock and anger, I realize…
I’m not mad.
I’m hurt. Betrayed.
My chest aches, tightening like it’s in a vice.
He involvedElla.
“Does Hadley know?”
Hud shakes his head. “As far as I know, no,” he mutters.
“Good.”
I grab my shirt from the ground and shove it back on. He looks wrecked, but I’m too torn up to offer him comfort. Iwantto, but Ican’t.
What he did was selfish. Painful.
He let Ella help.
I don’t even know what to say. So I don’t say anything. I just turn to walk away.
“If you’re ending things, just tell me.” His voice is dead, hollow. It stops me in my tracks. I never want him to sound like that.
I sigh and turn around. He’s back on the ground, cradling his head in his hands, frozen. I don’t go to him. If I get too close, I’ll cave. And Ican’tsweep this under the rug, not like I did things with Hadley.
“Hud, I just… we’re not—” I stop, words tangling. “I just need space. To think.”
He nods without looking at me.
That invisible thread between us tugs hard, pulling me back toward him, begging me to stay. I take another step away from him before the hurt fogging up my brain clears.
What the hell am I doing?
I made a vow to protect Hud, to never let him feel despair or self-loathing again. He just had a bad panic attack for fucks sake and I’m worried about my hurt feelings?
Not that my feelings aren't valid, because they are, but I’ll get over it. If I walk away now, I’d be screwing up worse than what Hud did.
I stride back to where Hud is sitting, hands in his hair, and sit next to him. He looks up at me, surprise widening his red rimmed eyes. Wrapping my arm around his back, I pull him into me. He comes easily and rests his head on my shoulder, his tears falling into my lap.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“We’ll talk about it later. Just let me hold you for now.”
His arms come up around my middle, and he holds tight. I squeeze my eyes shut and let my head rest against the side of the building. We still need to talk, but this is what will always matter. Hud in my arms, letting him know he’s the most important thing, regardless of what comes our way.
I told him I would always be there for him, no matter what. Even if my feelings need to be pushed aside for him to feel safe.
He always comes first.
No matter what.
Twenty-Seven
Hudson
