“The hot tub’s starting to itch,” I murmur into his neck. “Want to grab a quick shower then crash?”
“You don’t want to talk about this shitshow of a night?”
“Not tonight. You’re still buzzed, and I’m just… done. Tomorrow, we can fake hangovers and hang around the house while everyone else soaks up the last day. We’ll talk then, if you want.”
“I like that idea.”
We rush through a shower, hands to ourselves, then climb into bed in nothing but boxers. I curl around him, the perfect little spoon, my nose tucked against his neck.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped with Ella,” my voice soft in the dark room. “I know you don’t like being treated like you’re weak, but I couldn’t just stand there. When I saw she was going to hit you, I had to step in.”
Hudson lifts our joined hands to his lips and kisses the tips of my fingers. “Thank you for stepping in. I was fighting off a panic attack the second I left the hot tub. Seeing you walk in stopped it cold. You’re like my new form of Xanax,” he yawns.
“I’ll be whatever you need me to be,” I whisper.
His breathing slows, then evens out. He’s asleep.
I kiss his shoulder and pull him tighter. His skin against mine is the most grounding thing I’ve ever felt. The affection I have for him is overflowing, and I want to guard him from everything that could ever hurt him. His heart is too good, and somehow,somehow, he gave it to me.
This started as friendship, but it’s grown into more.So much more.
A smile curls at the edges of my mouth, and I whisper into the dark the words that have lived quietly in my heart for longer than I realized.
“I love you.”
Twenty-Four
Hudson
The last day of our trip turned out to be a wash. Literally.
A huge storm rolled through. Torrential rain, heavy winds. No one got to enjoy the lake one last time. Which ended up being great, because most of us were too hungover to function. Myself included.
There were even a couple of people from the other group who did the walk of shame. That girl Heather was one of them. She cut me a look before she made a hasty exit, heels in hand.
With everyone stuck inside, Cull and I couldn’t hide out in the bedroom all day without raising eyebrows. Still, we managed to steal some time that morning to talk about the night before and apologize for our fight. Cull called it our first lovers’ quarrel. That made me laugh my ass off.
We eventually had to rejoin the land of the living so no one got suspicious. Turns out, no one seemed to care about what I did in the hot tub. Everyone acted like it never happened. Either they didn’t remember, or they took it for what it was, a dumb dare.
Either way, it was a huge relief.
Ella was extra chatty that last day. She hugged me and apologized again for screaming the night before. She admitted she was out of line, and I didn’t deserve it. That it was the alcohol talking.
I’m sure the two pills I saw her down with tequila played a part, but I figured there wasn't much point in bringing that up.
We’ve all done stupid shit under the influence, so I’m not about to throw stones.
We got back Saturday, sunburnt and exhausted but buzzing for the last few weeks of school. That’s all Ella wanted to talk about on the drive: our summer plans and how we’d be hanging out a lot. Cullen tried to get her to ride back with Hadley and the girls, but Ella claimed there was a fight between them. Something about a threesome in her bed.
I didn’t want to know if my sister was involved, so I didn’t push for details.
The ride home was awkward. Cull wasn’t in a talking mood, still upset with Ella for how she acted the night before, so I was relieved when we dropped her off. It felt like she took the thick air with her, and we could relax.
And Hadley. She hasn’t talked to me in the three days since I kissed Cull during truth or dare. Honestly, I don’t blame her. I’m sure it’s confusing as hell to see your brother kiss your ex-boyfriend. I was trying to protect Cullen and spare him from seeing me kiss someone else, but I didn’t think about how that would affect Hads, too.
It stunned Ella, but Hadley… I don’t know what she thought. I tried talking to her this morning, but she walked away like I wasn’t even there.
It’s added to the anxiety that’s been my constant shadow since we left the cabin. I got used to falling asleep wrapped together with Cull. He’s become a safety blanket, and without his warmth, his smell, everything feels a little off-balance.
