“I’m gay. I’ve known since I was thirteen. Keeping that secret from you was starting to suffocate me.” Tears well at the corners of his blue eyes. He’s taking slow, deep breaths, just trying to keep it together.
I gape at him, my pulse thrumming and heat creeping up my neck.
Something in me snaps.
Every ounce of want and need that’s built up over the last few weeks comes rushing to the surface, and I do the only thing that makes sense.
Grabbing Hudson by the buttons of his shirt, I yank him toward me, crashing my lips into his. He gasps and freezes, but only for a moment. His hands come up to the sides of my neck, pulling me in, kissing me back, and anchoring us both.
I lick his lips, desperate to take the kiss deeper. My smile curls against his mouth when he parts them, letting me slip my tongue inside, warm and welcoming.
I thought the electricity of just touching Hudson was something to marvel at. But this? This is a blazing fire. Pure euphoria with every stroke of his tongue.
Fuck, I never felt this way kissing Hadley.
This feels right. Kismet.
Everything that’s ever felt off in my life just… clicks. Like I’ve found the one damn piece I didn’t even know was missing.
Hudson pulls away from the kiss, breathless. I find myself chasing his lips, not ready for the high to end. He places a gentle hand on my chest, keeping some distance between us.
“What’s happening right now?” he asks, his voice quiet and rough.
“I kissed you,” I answer, grinning like an idiot.
“But… you’re straight.” His breathing picks up, and tears spring to his eyes. “You’restraight, Cull. A-and my best friend! You’ve been with my sister for the last three years. Oh God, mysister…”
Hadley is a conversation that will have to wait. Right now, he looks like he’s on the edge of a panic attack. I take his face in both hands and rest my forehead against his.
“Breathe, Hud.”
He falls into rhythm with me, matching my breaths like we did in his room a few days ago.
“Feeling calm?”
He gives a stuttered nod, his breathing now slow and steady.
“I’ve been keeping a secret too,” I admit softly. He looks straight into my eyes. This close, I can see every striation of color in his beautiful, Caribbean blue irises.
“I’m bi. And the last few weeks I’ve been struggling with trying to hide feelings for my best friend,” I admit, a soft smirk on my face.
“You’ve what?” His disbelief is kind of adorable. I lean in and press another soft kiss to his parted lips.
“When I was sixteen, I realized I was attracted to both girls and guys. I’d make offhanded comments to Hadley about guys being hot, and she’d tell me to stop being gay. Like it was something I could just turn off.”
My chest tightens with the memory. Hudson doesn’t take his gaze off of me, listening intently.
“That sent me into a full-blown identity crisis, and I started having all these internal homophobic thoughts. I let her convince me something was wrong with me, so I shoved that part of myself down and locked it away.”
His hands land on my thighs, grounding me with their warm, steady weight.
“What changed?” he asks.
“You started slipping into my thoughts more and more. It was like no matter how hard I tried to shove it down, there you were,” I breathe out. “I think Ella hanging all over you at the party was the tipping point. And things falling apart with Hadley didn’t help. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So I stopped fighting it. I embraced it.”
The widest, goofiest smile breaks across his face. “That was my first kiss, you know.”
I straighten, dropping my hands from his face. “It was? You’ve never kissedanyonebefore?” I feel like that’s a detail I should’ve known.
