And I want to be the one to help hold them together.
“I, uh… I’ll take it all out whenever I can.” He looks away from me, trying to shield the shame in his eyes.
Nope. That’s not going to work for me. I remember something my dad said, that sometimes people who aredepressed need someone to take the decisions out of their hands. Even if they don’t want to be coddled.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
Operation Revive Hudsonis a go.
Sixteen
Hudson
I’m fucking mortified right now. Cullen seeing me in all my broken glory is bad enough, but him being able to witness the humiliating consequences of my deep depression is even worse.
I keep my eyes locked on the pale gray walls across my bedroom, too scared to look Cullen in the eye. I can’t bear to see pity, or worse, disgust, on his beautiful face. It would send me spiraling all over again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him stand, then cross my line of sight. He slips out of my room without a word, heading across the hall to the bathroom.
Great. He finds me so repulsive he had to physically get away from me.
The sound of gentle water flows into the room, followed by Cull’s heavy footsteps returning. He heads straight to my dresser and rummages through the drawers, pulling out a clean pair of boxers and my navy-blue senior class t-shirt.
“What are you doing?”
He walks over and squats in front of me, forcing me to look down at him. “You are my best friend in the entire world, and I’m going to help you through this,” he declares, voice edged with a quiet sternness.
“Cull—”
He cuts me off by holding up a finger. “Before you say anything, you are not a problem, a hassle, or a burden.” He raises a finger with each word. “You, Hudson, are worth every ounce of effort. The people wholoveyou know that. I’ll give youeverything that I am, even if it kills me. Even if it only makes you feel one iota better. Do you hear me?”
Shit.Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
I fight to keep it in. I’m so damn tired of feeling sick and tired. But maybe, just this once, I can let someone take care of me.
It doesn’t hurt that it’s Cull offering to do it.
I hold my hand out, giving him silent permission to take charge. He grabs both of my hands and pulls me to my feet, my legs shaky from disuse and lack of food. Tingles erupt where our hands meet, and I involuntarily squeeze his in response.
Our eyes lock. There’s a gravitational pull tugging me closer.
Without thinking, I step.
Cullen’s breath hitches, then he clears his throat, squeezing my hand back.
The moment breaks when he lets go, placing one of his hands on my back to guide me into the steamy bathroom.
“Do you want me to stay and help, or can I trust you not to keel over in there?” he jokes, trying to pull a smile out of me.
It works.
My lips twitch up, and when his smile answers, butterflies stir in my stomach.
I’m glad he’s here.
“I think I can manage.”
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it. I’m keeping the door cracked, though, so I can hear if you need me.” He turns and walks out, leaving the bathroom door ajar a few inches.
