I feel like I’m about to crawl out of my skin. I thought about taking one of my pills, but I want to be clearheaded for whatever Cullen wants to talk about.
With nowhere else to go, I decide to head to the river early. I take the turn that leads away from town and drive the eight miles to the dirt road that brings me to my little slice of paradise. I pull up to the small bluff that overlooks the water and sit for a moment, admiring the view. This place has alwaysbrought me peace, but today, I’m too overwhelmed to appreciate it.
I just want to get this over with. I grab my phone to let Cullen know I’m here, in case he wants to meet early.
The first word is barely typed out when I hear the crunch of tires behind me.
My stomach drops. I wasn’t expecting himthissoon.
Cullen pulls up next to my Bronco and looks over through his window. His face is neutral, but the hard set of his jaw gives him away.
He’s still pissed.
Even angry, he’s still the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. I know now’s not the best time for those thoughts, but damn, he looks good in his backwards hat and wayfarer sunglasses. The clenched jaw just adds to the whole brooding sex appeal.
I hop out of the Bronco before my body recognizes the direction of my thoughts and walk over to where Cullen is already waiting.
“Guess we had the same idea,” I quip, trying to lighten the mood.
I get a short, gruff “guess so” in return before he turns and walks down the embankment. I trail after him with my heart in my throat, trying to brace myself for the wreck I know is coming.
Cullen reaches the worn-down clearing and spreads out a small blanket I hadn’t noticed he was carrying. He drops down heavily, draws his knees up, and rests his arms on top. With his eyes fixed on the water, he waits for me to join him. I sit next to him and mirror his posture, drawing a breath before diving in.
“Cull, man, I’m sorry for being a prick this week.”
He reaches over and grabs some grass and starts shredding it with his long fingers. He must need to keep his hands occupied to keep from strangling me.
When he speaks, his voice is rough and quiet. “I can deal with the attitude, Hud. What hurts is you lying to me. We tell each other everything,” he huffs. “I even told you when I popped your sister's cherry for fucks sake, but you couldn’t be bothered to tell me you had a date. Yourfirstdate at that.”
I grimace at the thought of him and my sister having sex. Not something I want a visual of.
He appraises my face like he can pull every secret from it, guilt sinking like a lead weight in my stomach. There’s already so much I haven’t told him, and now there’s one more thing I’ll have to lie about.
“Cull, I was pissed this week because I was practically forced into that date with Ella. Our moms ambushed me after dinner on Sunday, and I felt like I couldn’t say no.”
His whole body relaxes. “So, you didn’t want to go out with Ella?”
“No. I was planning to tell her at the end of the night that we should just be friends.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you’d take it well. It was one date. I thought it wouldn’t matter.”
His brows furrow. “What do you mean youweregoing to tell her you just wanted to be friends?”
“I, uh…”
Shit. I knew I had to tell him, but I didn’t come in with a game plan. My fingers start to tingle, that telltale sign my anxiety’s about to hit full force.
“What happened on your date, Hudson?” he grits out.
Fuck. This isn’t going to end well. I should’ve just been honest from the jump. Then I wouldn’t be stuck in yet another shitty position of my own making.
My heart’s racing now, each beat slamming against my ribs like it’s trying to punch its way out.
“We had more fun than I thought we would. I asked—” I clear the lump from my throat. “I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
“What the actual fuck, Hudson?” he explodes. “How do you go from not even wanting the date to being in a relationship? And with Ella fucking Hackford of all people. What the hell is wrong with you?”
He’s breathing hard now, his whole body wound tight. I’m trying to keep my panic attack at bay, but it’s mounting so fast I lash out.
“Why are you being such a dick? You act like she’s wanted for war crimes or something!”
