“You guess?”
“Yeah. I was distracted. Hudson was there on a date with Ella Hackford.”
“Oh, that’s right. Nora mentioned it yesterday when we chatted. She sounded excited.”
I sit up straight, hurt and anger shooting through my chest. “You mean to tell me you knew Hudson was going out with that airhead and you didn’t tell me?”
“Hey. Watch the way you talk about her,” Mom scolds me, sharp but calm. “You know better than that.”
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“I didn’t mention it because I assumed you already knew.”
I sink back into the recliner, angry and defeated. “Well, I didn’t. He kept it from me.”
“Does he know you talk about Ella like that?” Dad chimes in. “That alone might be enough reason to keep you out of the loop.”
“I did bring up her name when I tried to tell him I thought he was drugged at the party. He didn’t like that.”
“Well, maybe he felt like you wouldn’t be happy for him since he knows how you feel about her,” Dad reasons.
I don’t respond to that because I’m sure that’s exactly why he didn’t tell me.
But still…
“He’s been in a mood all week,” I grumble, launching into my frustration. “Anytime I asked what was wrong, he just said he was stressed about midterms. You and I both know he could ace those without studying, so I don’t think that’s really it.” I pause, my throat tightening. “I just… I don’t want agirl, of all things, to come between us.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and rub at the spot on my chest where the chasm keeps spreading.
“Son, you should be happy for Hudson. Besides, they have history together. It makes sense.”
“We have history too,” I say roughly, just above a whisper.
“Sweetheart, you remember how Hudson was when you and Hadley started dating? He got distant, snippy, and didn’t want to hang out for a while.” She smiles, warm and understanding. “He was scared of losing his best friend. I think you’re doing the same thing.”
Maybe.Probably not.
Dad tilts his head, studying me with a thoughtful, knowing look. “Unless this has nothing to do with being afraid oflosing your best friend… and everything to do with the fact thatyouwanted to be on that date with him.”
I stop breathing. I should’ve known Dad would see through me. He has to be observant in his line of work. Miss one sign, and he could misdiagnose someone.
I lean back in the recliner and let my hat slide down over my face. I didn’t expect to get emotional, but I feel a sting in the corner of my eyes.
A light touch rests on my knee, followed by a gentle squeeze. I tilt my hat up, and I'm met with green eyes like my own and a soft smile. Mom squeezes my knee one more time before leaning back into my dad’s side. “Do you like Hudson, sweetheart?”
The sting turns into a tear sliding down my cheek. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and bite down, trying to keep from full-on crying. I’ve been holding this in since I told my parents I was bi. I didn’t realize how heavy it’s been until now.
Both of my parents are looking at me expectantly, patiently waiting for my reply. I give them a slow nod, then let another tear fall down my face. Mom pulls me from the recliner over to the couch between them and hugs me tight.
I lose it.
I sob into my mom’s neck for the first time since I was little. Dad wraps his arms around both of us, and it only makes me cry harder.
I cry for losing Hudson before I ever had him—because he was never mine to lose… because he’s out on a date with someone who isn’t good enough for him.
I cry because I don’t know what to do about my feelings. And I cry because I know I have to end it with Hadley—because it’s not fair to keep wanting someone else while she’s still holding my hand.
My body is wracked with quiet sobs, but Mom and Dad hold me through it all. Mom’s sweet perfume carries across my nose, the familiar smell calming some of my torn edges. Dad’s warm chest against my back makes me feel safe, and it helps me get a handle on myself.
