I’m in love with Cullen.
One
Hudson
Present Day
“Come on, dude! You gotta give me a chance to get out of my hiding spot before you go in for the kill,” I complain as Cullen takes my last player life.
Again.
It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon. We’re holed up in the multimedia room at my house, burning through PlayStation games and junk food.
“Nah man, who made that rule? You have to go for the win when the opportunity presents itself,” he teases, a small triumphant laugh bubbling out of him.
I roll my eyes and grumble, “Guess bro code doesn't exist when there is a kill streak on the line.”
“What was that, Hud?” Cullen asks, scrolling on his phone.
“Nothing. Load up another game, and I’ll grab more snacks.”
He throws a head nod my way as I get up and head into the kitchen.
Most days, being in the same room as Cull is hard. Keeping my secrets feels like a mask I can’t take off. Today, it’s suffocating.
It’s the mundane days that make my head spin. It’s when I can steal glances without him noticing or be near enough to let his crisp, evergreen smell envelop me.
It’s all torture.
My heart claws at my ribs, like it’s trying to reach him. But it never can.
Because he’s straight—and dating my twin sister.
No one in my family knows I’m gay. None of my friends. Not even Cull. I’m not ashamed, just…skeptical. Telling anyone would only stir more heartache.
Part of me wishes he knew. That I was the twin he took on dates and made out with over homework. But then I’m knocked down from that dream and remember that life never gives us what we want.
Just a bunch of pain and misery.
I grab pretzels and candy, lingering in the pantry a little longer to clear my head. I take a deep breath, shake out my limbs, then finish what I came to the kitchen to do.
Clutching the snacks in one arm, I snag a couple of sodas from the fridge and head back to the entertainment room. I drop the collection on the coffee table, then flop down on the leather sofa like I wasn’t just diving down a dark mental hole.
“Took you long enough. What was the holdup?” Cull asks, eyeing the treats before snagging the bag of pretzels.
Oh, nothing. Just mourning how you’ll never want me in this lifetime or the next.
“Couldn’t decide what to grab,” I lie.
He nods like he gets it, then rips the bag open and pops a handful of pretzels in his mouth.
I seize the moment, taking in his side profile.
He’s so beautiful. The kind of beautiful that makes my chest ache when I look too long. His brown wavy hair is a little longer on top, falling perfectly to the side on his forehead, framing his bright green eyes and dark lashes. And that stupid dimple… the one that only shows when he’s really laughing. The laugh that wrecks me every time.
I exhale through my nose and tear my eyes off him, locking back onto the TV screen. We fall into a quiet rhythm,navigating the game map in silence. Just as I’m about to pounce on Cullen’s character, the door flies open.
Hadley crashes into the room and drops onto his lap like she owns the place.
