Perfect. Just send me to prison now.
I don’t respond. It’s just another drop in the overflowing bucket of crap life keeps handing me.
“Eli’s taking the videos to the judge next week, and he’s confident the charges will be dropped.”
“What about my hearing?” I ask, the words physically heavy to speak.
“Eli submitted a note from Dr. Anderson along with your school records. The judge let him stand in for you. He agreed you’re not a danger to society, but you can’t leave the state. Not until this is all settled.”
I nod and go back to staring at Cullen’s message.
“Dad and I are supposed to go to his architecture conference today, but if you need us to stay, we will. I hate leaving you like this.”
No, please go. I need the silence. Without them here, their worry won’t weigh so heavily on me.
“I’ve been like this before. I’ll be fine, Mom.”
“Okay, but call if you need us. We’ll be back without hesitation.” She looks at me, her blue eyes worried. “At least we won’t be far, just in Charlotte.”
I give her an empty smile, eyes glued to my phone screen.
She sighs. “Try to eat, please? We love you.” She kisses my clammy forehead, then leaves.
The message from Cull keeps pulling my focus, and I can’t handle it anymore. I scroll to my contacts, my thumb hovering over his name. I shouldn’t call him. I shouldn’t give him false hope. But I need to hear his voice. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone without talking to him, and it’s messing with my darkened mind.
I hit call.
It rings and rings. Just when I’m about to hang up, his tired, scratchy voice comes through the speaker.
“Hud?”
I falter, nerves spiking.
“Are you there?” he asks, voice laced with desperation.
“H-hey. Yeah. I’m here. I’m sorry. I needed to hear your voice. I-I know that’s not fair.”
“You can call me anytime, baby.”
I slam my eyes shut. This was a mistake. He has the power to make me fall to my knees and forget everything. And that’s what I’m trying to avoid, making him feel like it’s his job to carry my pain.
“Is everything okay? I thought I should let you have a few days to decompress.”
“I figured you realized I was right,” I say, a sad chuckle slipping out.
“No, Hudson. You’ve never been more wrong. You’re still mine, whether you believe it or not. I’m still here.”
A tear rolls down my cheek.
I want that. So badly.
“I just can’t right now,” my voice breaks.
“That’s alright. I’m not going anywhere. You’re still my boyfriend. Then you’ll be my fiancé. And one day, my husband.” He sounds so sure. He always does. I envy the way he can see through the dark and into a brighter future.
“I want that,” I whisper.
“You’ll have it. Wewillhave it. You just have to hold on, baby.”
