“You’ll resent me. And now someone’s obsessed with me and dragging you into it. If something happened to you because of me, I’d die.”
He looks away, tension coiling in his jaw. “I’m doing the best I can, okay? I know I broke a promise, but I’m just trying to do right by you and take care of you the best way I know, for as long as I can.”
I reach for him, but he takes a step back, his face blank. His wall slams into place. Cold, distant, and familiar.
“I’m sorry,” he says, quieter now. “But I guess my good intentions always come back to bite me in the ass.” Then he turns and walks into the house.
I try to follow, but he slams the door, the sound of the deadbolt clicking into place stopping me cold. He’s shutting me out, and I’m afraid we haven’t even hit the worst of it yet.
I stand there, staring at the door like it might open again if I just wait long enough. But it doesn’t. And the silence on the other side is louder than any slam could ever be.
Thirty-Three
Hudson
I didn’t know I could be such a stubborn little shit, but apparently, I’ve got a knack for it. I’ve been ignoring Cull for two days, even though he’s done everything he can to get me to talk. The only contact we’ve had is his nightly “I love you” text. I always respond to those messages, no matter how upset I am.
Keeping those notes from him would hurt, I knew that, but I figured knowing what they said would be worse. He’s already carrying so much because of me, and the guilt is eating me alive.
I hate that I’m dragging this shit into his life.
Cull didn’t deserve me lashing out, but fear is a constant shadow mocking me, telling me I’ll never be good enough. My dad apologized, but his words still echo, faint but sharp enough to split me open.
So pushing Cull away is easier, even if it’s cowardly.
“I need to talk to you.”
I register the voice a split second before Cullen yanks me out of the hallway and all the way to the student parking lot. I let him lead me over to his truck without a fight, even as my heart pounds.
He lets go, and I fold my arms across my chest. “What do you want, Cull?”
I know I’m being ridiculous, but my brain’s in chaos, and I can’t decide if I want to push him away or throw myself into his arms.
He must sense the war inside me, because he grabs me again and shoves me against the side of his truck. My back hits the metal, and I grunt, his mouth crashing into mine.
Our lips fight, his tongue demanding entry. I’m weak for this man, so I open for him eagerly.
The short, intense kiss conveys everything he can’t verbalize and reminds me why I wanted to protect him in the first place. I just need to find a better way that doesn’t involve breaking his trust again.
Cull leans his forehead against mine, fists still balled in my white polo.
“Stop shutting me out,” he grits, his voice low and raw. “You don’t want to be treated like you can’t handle shit, sostopacting like I can’t handle it either.”
I blink, caught off guard by the crack in his voice.
“Keeping things from me doesn’t protect me. It leaves me in the dark, and that’s more dangerous than knowing. So please… trust me to know what I can handle, just like I trust you to know your limits.” His grip softens. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what kind of shit life throws at us.”
I sag against the side of the Chevy, the weight of everything I’ve been trying to hold together pressing down on me.
“I’m scared,” I rasp. I clear my throat, hoping to push some strength back into my voice. “I can’t let anything happen to you because it would destroy me. But I can’t shake the feeling that this is all going to fall apart, either because of my issues or something else.”
“We can’t always control the future,” he says. “But if we don’t talk, we’re screwing ourselves from the start. I know you’re stuck on the shit your dad said, but that’s his opinion. It doesn’t get to be our reality.”
He lifts my chin so I’m forced to meet his eyes. “Please understand that I need you just as much as you need me. There will be days where I need you to be the strong one. And on thedays when we both can’t be? We’ll sit together in the storm until it passes.”
My chest aches. I lean in and kiss him softly, pouring everything I am into it. “I’m sorry I’ve been an ass this week. I just got scared and overwhelmed and… I shut down. It’s easier to push people away than face my shit. But I’ll work on it if you promise to be patient with me.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he declares with a smirk, “but I’ll also call you on your shit when I have to.”
