The scrape of his stubble ran along my cheek. “If I broke my word, why does it matter if you do not want me?”
Vision grew blurry, my legs felt like brittle straw, unable to bear my weight. Somehow Jonas must’ve predicted the collapse, for when my knees gave out his arms were there to scoop me up.
My cheek fell to his heart, the steady thrum of the cadence a lullaby in the fog.
“It matters,” I said, breathless and distant, “because I do want you, but I know you will never truly want me.”
White hot agony lined every side of my head. Something damp and cold covered my brow to my nose, smelling like cloying mint and rosemary. I cracked one eye. A pale linen was over my face, but I could not pull it away, my hands felt weighed down by a thousand stones.
Bit by bit my mind drifted between syrupy haze and the chirps of morning birds outside. Soft quilts cushioned my heavy limbs. If only I could cease the screech of my skull.
With a heavy groan, I swung one hand to my face and peeled back the pungent linen. Gods, what a mistake. I recoiled from the light like it was daggers to my eyes.
Someone chuckled. “Brän is not to be trifled with. It is a friend in one gulp, then a foe in the next.”
I spread my fingers, squinting against the villainous sunlight to find a woman seated in a chair five paces beside my bed. Slender, with fair skin and freckled cheeks. Her vibrant hair was braided loosely over one shoulder, and reminded me of a sunset before a sea storm.
“Highness.” The title came out so softly, I wasn’t certain I spoke at all.
Jonas’s mother smirked and leaned back in her chair. “I would ask you how you are this morning, but I can plainly see you are moments from begging the gods to open the gates of the Otherworld.”
My heart stuttered. Gods, no—did she see the state of me last night? Moments were wrapped in murky nothingness. I recalled laughter, drums, the wretchedly sour taste of the biting drink.
Safe arms.
Mossy eyes.
A heartbeat lullaby.
Jonas.
By the hells, the prince had carried me out of the tavern, home to the palace, a shame on his house, his folk, on my people.
I wanted more than the Otherworld to swallow me up, I wanted my mists to devour me, locking me away in whatever void they originated.
“Here.” Queen Malin plucked a steaming tin mug off a table and forced one of my leaden hands to encircle it. “Drink this. Within another toll, you’ll feel like you can stand again.”
I winced, forcing myself to slide up in bed and rest against the headboard.
Gods, how I must’ve looked. Hair was wild over my brow, stuck to my face. Doubtless whatever kohl had lined my eyes last night was smeared over my cheeks. Smoke and ale stained my skin, and now the damn queen was nursing her feckless daughter-in-law back to health.
I took a sip, the only way I could honor her in the moment, and coughed. Sharp herbs—parsley and wormroot, garlic and salt—coiled in a jolt of something like cinders in the back of my throat.
True to the queen’s word, the sting of sunlight had already dulled.
I cupped the tin in my lap, staring at the murky liquid. “I beg your forgiveness, Highness. My behavior has shamed your house, and I would not blame you if you wish to return me to?—”
“You’re not going back to Natthaven.” Malin crossed one leg, still grinning. “And you’ve shamed no one. Elven are rather inclined to propriety, aren’t they?”
I blinked once, twice. “Yes. Etiquette and expectations were in every lesson.”
“Well, we’re rather terrible at it. Frankly, I haven’t laughed as hard as I did last night in weeks, and gods, after the dreary that has been here these last days, we’ve needed it.” The queen snickered and slumped in her chair. “Jonas came home, all red in the face, you in his arms, humming and trying to lick his damn neck.”
I was going to retch. “I beg your pardon, My Lady. If I behaved out of sorts?—”
“That’s one way to describe it. Truly made our night.” The queen looked around the room, even plucked a porcelain vase I’d brought from home off the table to inspect it. “Frigg informed us what led to the tavern.”
I rubbed my brow. “I don’t know why I had such a reaction.”
