Jonas tucked his face against my neck, breathing me in. “They’ll try to take you from me, Skadi. I won’t let them.”
“Jonas, look at me.” I took hold of his face, forcing him to lift his head. The inky black of his eyes hadn’t faded. Truth be told, it seemed to swallow any hint of light in the room. His skin was flushed, heated, and I could not tell if he was going to collapse or attack. “Your mesmer is taking you.”
I hurried him into the small wash suite connected to the bedchamber and sat him on the edge of a smaller stone basin than we had in the Black Palace. I made quick work of soaking a linen in cool water in a wooden bowl and placing the cloth on the back of his neck.
He hunched over his knees, but his fingers took hold of the skirt of my dress, like he needed to ensure he had a hold on me.
I lowered to my knees, nudging my way between his thighs, and hugged his head to my shoulder. “What happened?”
It took a moment for him to speak. “We’ve been played. I pride myself on being able to spot a scheme, but I didn’t spot this. None of us did. I failed you, put you at risk, and I can’t bleeding think straight. Why is it so damn hot in here?”
He wasn’t making sense.
I dabbed another cloth over his brow. “Tell me what my grandfather said.”
By the time Jonas’s slow, raspy words retold the whole of the interaction, I wished I never asked.
Betrayal was a blade between the ribs, a burning ache I could feel to my bones. My grandfather agreed to Jonas’s request while still allowing the light elven to play their games against us.
“This is my fear,” Jonas said weakly. His forehead still rested on my shoulder. “A vision of you being taken from me, and I cannot reach you, I can’t stop it.”
“No.” I took hold of his face, urging him to look at me. The green of his eyes was more like slate gray as mesmer faded. “I don’t care what they say, do you hear me? Damn a contract, damn the alliance, you are mine, Jonas Eriksson, and I will fight to keep you.”
His mouth twitched in a smile that looked more like a wince. “When she is the woman you want beside you on a battlefield, you’ll know.”
I tilted my head. “What does that mean?”
“The last bit of advice I was given before our vows. You are the woman I want fighting beside me. I suppose that means I know.”
My knuckles brushed over his stubbled cheek. “Know what?”
“I’m in love with you.” Jonas pressed his forehead to mine. “I do not hold you on the surface of my heart, you are in the deepest pieces where I keep my worst fears. To lose you would mean facing pain so wretched it would destroy me. I would not survive it. Even if I was still breathing, I would no longer be me, and instead would become a cruel, violent, hopeless shell of the man I was.”
Tears burned behind my eyes. I kissed him tenderly, slowly, patiently. My lips were wet and cheeks salty by the time I pulled away. “You promised to unravel me, but you’ve woven yourself into every strand of my soul. I will never love anyone the way I love you. I am yours and that is an honor I will always fight to keep.”
Jonas blinked, clearing away the last surge of his magic. “What do we do, Skadi?”
I slipped my arms around his waist, holding him tightly. “We carry on. Our vows are not something they can take away, and we will not give them a reason.”
“My folk will want to retaliate. They don’t take well to being played.”
A bit of beautiful violence dug into my heart. “Then let them when a turn is spent. When we are still vowed at this time next turn, no one can touch us, and I will look forward to the grandest scheme the Kryv can dream up.”
Finally, Jonas laughed. It was soft, a little empty, but there all the same. “Look out, Wife. I think we’ve gone and corrupted you.”
“I expect more of your kind of corruption.”
I kissed him until he kissed me back, until his fears were put to rest, and his familiar, beautiful viciousness returned to the gleam of his eyes.
Chapter 41
The Mist Thief
We wereat the docks before the mists of dawn faded into the trees. The palace was quiet and sleepy when we made our way through the trees and waited for Nightseer to arrive by the first light.
Dorsan had seen to it a few servants would be awake to help us carry our packs, so Jonas and I took several to keep our departure quiet. Even Cara still slept. I left her a note of farewell.
My heart had been split in two. The man I thought cherished me was willing to stand aside and allow a cruel prince to use me and entrap me. To Eldirard, I remained a political pawn, and it sent my mind into an endless spiral of wondering if he ever loved me.
